Life
Youll roll your eyes but youll laugh, too.
After all, fun is for everyone, no matter the age, circumstance, or occasion.
Sure, they might be cringe, but theyre also simple, sweet, and always in good taste.
Dad Jokes
Q: Why dont skeletons fight each other?
A: They dont have the guts.
Q: I told my suitcase there would be no vacations this year.
A: Now Im dealing with emotional baggage.
Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns dont work!
Food Jokes
Q: Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: It wasnt peeling well.
Q: What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Q: What do you call cheese that isnt yours?
Q: Why did the coffee file a police report?
A: It got mugged!
Animal Jokes
Q: Why dont oysters donate to charity?
A: Because theyre shellfish.
Q: Why cant you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Q: Why did the duck get a promotion?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
School Jokes
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: It had too many problems.
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A: Because her students were so bright!
Q: Whats the king of all school supplies?
A: The ruler.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Q: Whats a computers favorite snack?
Home & Family Jokes
Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: Ill meet you at the corner!
Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
A: It was holding up a pair of pants!
Q: Why did the broom get a promotion?
A: Because it always swept up the competition!
Q: Why dont secrets last in a kitchen?
A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
Q: What did one plate say to the other plate?
A: Lunch is on me!
Work Jokes
Q: Why did the employee bring a ladder to work?
A: Because they wanted to reach new heights!
Q: Why did the scarecrow become a motivational speaker?
A: He was outstanding in his field!
Q: Why did the calendar break up with the clock?
A: It needed more space!
Q: Why did the computer catch a cold?
A: It left its Windows open!
Q: Why did the banker switch careers?
A: He lost interest!
Travel Jokes
Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: Because it was two-tired!
Q: Why did the car get a ticket?
A: It couldnt control its speed!
Q: How do you organize a fantastic space party?
A: You planet!
Q: Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
A: He needed space!
Q: What do you call a can opener that doesnt work?
A: A cant opener!
Knock-Knock Jokes
Knock, knock.
Music Jokes
Q: Why did the musician bring a ladder to the concert?
A: To reach the high notes!
Q: Why couldnt the piano find its keys?
A: Because they were locked up!
Q: Whats a skeletons favorite instrument?
A: The trom-bone!
Q: Why did the drum go to therapy?
A: It had too many issues to beat!
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor!
Sports Jokes
Q: Why did the football team go to the bank?
A: To get their quarterback!
Q: Whats a baseball players favorite punch in of music?
Q: Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
A: She always ran away from the ball!
Q: Why do basketball players love donuts?
A: Because they dunk them!
Q: Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
Random Fun Jokes
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta!
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, theyd be bagels!
Q: How does a penguin build its house?
A: Igloos it together!
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator!
Nature Jokes
Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree!
Q: Why dont trees ever gossip?
A: Because they keep things under wraps!
Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A: A power plant!
Q: Whats the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
A: Live stream!
Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling green!
Fantasy Jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross a unicorn and a donkey?
A: A honicorn!
Q: Why cant fairies keep secrets?
A: Because they always let the magic out!
Q: What did the dragon say when he ate the knight?
A: That was a knight to remember!
Q: Why did the wizard go to school?
A: To improve his spell-ing!
Q: Whats a vampires favorite fruit?
A: A blood orange!
Fitness Jokes
Q: Why dont skeletons ever work out?
A: Because they dont have the muscle!
Q: How do gymnasts keep their muscles in shape?
A: They do a lot of stretching!
Q: Why did the weightlifter break up with the barbell?
A: He just couldnt handle it anymore.
Q: Whats a runners favorite punch in of music?
A: Anything with good tempo!
Q: What do you call a fitness instructor who loves to read?
A: A book of exercises!
Magic Jokes
Q: Why did the magician start working at the bakery?
A: Because he was great at making dough disappear!
Q: What do you get when you cross a magician and a potato?
A: A spuderman!
Q: Why dont magicians like to share their secrets?
A: Because its all a sleight of hand!
Q: What do you call a wizard who cant spell?
A: A misspell!
Q: How did the magician lose his job?
A: He was always disappearing at the wrong time!
Art Jokes
Q: Why was the artist afraid he might go to jail?
A: Because he had a brush with the law!
Q: Why did the artist bring a ladder to work?
Q: What do you call an art thief who was caught?
A: A draw back!
Q: Why did the painter break up with the canvas?
A: He couldnt get the picture right!
Q: Whats an artists favorite bang out of music?
A: Anything with good composition!
Superhero Jokes
Q: Why dont superheroes use cell phones?
A: Because they prefer to use their superpowers!
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
A: Robin, get in the car!
Q: Why did the superhero bring a pencil to the fight?
A: To draw his weapon!
Q: Why did Superman break up with Lois Lane?
A: Because he needed someone with more kryptonite in their life!
Q: What do you call a superhero who enjoys a good laugh?
A: Captain Punderful!
Shopping Jokes
Q: Why did the shopper bring a pencil to the store?
A: To draw a bargain!
Q: What do you call someone who loves to shop for shoes?
A: A sole-mate!
Q: Why did the customer buy a pencil at the store?
A: Because it had a good point!
Q: Why do stores hate bad jokes?
A: They always end up being on sale for a limited time.
Q: What do you call a store that sells good ideas?
A: A think tank!
Space Jokes
Q: What do you call a cow in space?
Q: Why cant astronauts play cards in space?
A: Because theres no dealing with gravity!
Q: What do you call a space party?
A: A blast!
Q: Why did the Sun go to school?
A: To get a little brighter!
Technology Jokes
Q: Why did the smartphone go to therapy?
A: It couldnt find its connection!
Q: How does a computer tell you its hungry?
A: It says, Byte me!
Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: Because it left its Windows open!
Q: What do you call a robot that likes to visit the beach?
A: A surfbot!
Q: Why did the computer break up with the internet?
A: Because it found a better connection!
