Asking deep questions can also help bridge a gap after conflict or distance.
Looking for examples of deep questions to ask your friends?
Here are some ideas from Campbell and Davis (who are real-life best friends themselves!)
1Whats your favorite thing about our friendship?
Starting off with an uplifting, heartfelt question can ease each of you into a more vulnerable conversation.
Knowing that you always have [their] best interest at heart is key, she notes.
That key in of security is the highest form of intimacy.
2What is your biggest fear?
3Hows your relationship with your family right now?
4How do you feel about the current state of the world?
Political events, global conflicts, and national issues can be overwhelming for most people to absorb.
Try having an open and honest conversation with your friends about their perspectives on everything thats happening.
You might learn something new from their world views.
5Whats your sweetest memory from childhood?
7Who was the most influential teacher in your life?
8If today was your last day on earth, who would you choose to spend it with?
Ask them why they would choose that person, and you might be touched by how they feel.
9Whats something youre sensitive about that you wish no one would joke about?
10If money wasnt an issue, what career would you most want to pursue?
11Where do you see our friendship in 10 years?
Exploring each of your visions for the future can bring a sense of closeness and trust to your friendship.
12Whats something about yourself that you wish other people noticed more?
This question can uncover what we value and how we perceive ourselves, Davis says.
13Hows your heart?
As opposed to the usual how are you?
asking this question digs deeper into what theyrefeelingand experiencing.
14Whats something weighing on you right now?
Knowing that friends are always here to support and encourage you helps tremendously when youre dealing with tough times.
15How do you like to be comforted when youre upset, sick, or angry?
Campbell suggests figuring out whos taking care of what financially when youre out with friends.
When you go out to drinks, who’s paying?
And when you get food, [would] you do a 50/50 split, things like that.
17Are my actions as a friend aligning with my expectations of friendship?
Meanwhile, you havent made plans with them in six months, Campbell says.
18Do you ever feel like Ive crossed your boundaries?
Setting boundariesis a necessary step in any relationship: romantic, platonic, familial, or otherwise.
19Do you want solutions right now, or do you just want to vent?
I think its important to pose that question first, Davis says.
When a friend is upset, you should never assume what they need based on their issue.
And other times, you do, Davis says.
20How does social media influence your self-esteem?
Social mediais an inevitable part of everyones lives, Davis says.
I find that that’s a lot of what people are talking about, Davis says.
It’s a lot of what mental health issues are surrounding.
Everyone has an idea of things they would like to change about their lives.
This is a good friendship question because it might tell you more about what your friends value.
