TV & Movies
Beauty, class, and eleGANCE lie within the soul.
The list of real pop royalty is small but mighty: Madonna.
Taylor Swift.The Real Housewives.
To pull off this insurmountable task, some guidelines must be set.
Theres a limit of three songs per person.
Without further ado, heres the completely objective and definitive ranking of every majorReal Housewivessong to date.
Gretchen Rossi, Revelation
Best Lyric:I bet you’re gonna hear this on the radio.
For no explicable reason,Atlantahousewife Sheree turned one of hermost iconic quotesinto a rap banger.
The lyrics dont make sense, and her flow is nonexistent.
But if it catches you in the right mood, youll enjoy it.
Drew Sidora, Already Know
Best Lyric:Got him wheezin like he asthmatical.
Theballad versionanddance mixwere hilariously performed on local news shows andWatch What Happens Live.
Adriana de Moura, Fyah
Best Lyric:In the gallery of life, Im a masterpiece.
We should be so grateful.
Kenya Moore, Gone With the Wind Fabulous
Best Lyric:Don’t get hurt, I’m fabulous.
Candiace, Insecure (feat.
Trina)
Best Lyric:I’m not used to dealing with a b*tch.
Erika Jayne, How Many F*cks?
Best Lyric:What’d you just say, my friend?
Money’s making me deaf.
Given her onscreen persona, no Housewife has ever taken their song more literally.
Kandi, Fly Above
Best Lyric:Drama comes along with the bread, I cake up.
Fly Above is catchy, but not nearly as much fun as theHousewivessongs that dont take themselves as seriously.
Scheana Shay, What I Like
Best Lyric:Can you freak, b*tch?
What I Like was worthy of this historic occasion.
Teresa Giudices daughter has been aRHONJscene-stealer with her sassy one-liners alone.
Countess Luann, Feelin Jovani
Best Lyric:Hell with countess, now Im queen.
OnRHONY, Dorinda Medley interrupted Luanns cabaret to loudly plug Jovani, the designer behind her co-stars gowns.
Ashley Darby, Coffee & Love
Best Lyric:Mickey Darby and Ashley will never stop.
She even got her brother to rap on the track.
But that cringe-worthy verse, mixed with those sparkling dance beats, is exactly what makes it so great.
On Display has one of the catchiest hooks-turned-life mantras, and remains her most valuable contribution to theReal Housewivesfranchise.
Ten years later, you cant go on TikTok without hearing her tearful voice soundtracking minor inconveniences.
Now thats a true pop icon.
Feel the Rush captures the vibrance, glamour, and absurdity of Miamis cast.
Money Cant Buy You Class embodies Countess Luanns persona.
Itsher book on mannersput to music, as Luann sing-talks you through living your most luxurious life.
Erika Jayne, XXpen$ive
Best Lyric: Looking at me like snack, snack.
Most fans say they want to see obscene wealth on theReal Housewives.
Scheana Shay, Good As Gold
Best Lyric:Ill open Pandoras Box for you.
At BravoCon, I paid $50 for Scheanas Good As Gold vinyl.
Yes, it was gold.
Yes, it included a screamo remix of the dance-pop jam for no apparent reason.
No, I dont regret it.
It even inspired parodies onSaturday Night Liveand30 Rock(which was ironically sung by future Housewife Denise Richards).
Candiace, Drive Back
Best Lyric: Got me pissed off from my head down to my shoes.
Kim Zolciak, Tardy for the Party
Best Lyric:Drop that top, yeah, its my world.
Zolciak and Kandi started theHousewivesmusic catalog with Tardy for the Party, and nobody has beaten it since.
Bravo fans will be singing that catchy hook for decades.
