Dating
Simple tricks and steamy advice.
Think back to your first kiss.
Was it deeply romantic or seriously awkward?
Now, think back to your last kiss.
Has kissing become more enjoyable for you, or less?
And the fact youre interested in expanding your horizons is a great place to start.
But kissing is a ridiculous amount of fun and is fully deserving of your attention and effort.
Not only is it fun, but kissing plays a key role in building relationships.
In fact, kissing frequency is astrong indicator of relationship connectivity, according to a 2020 study.
So,the more you kiss, the happier you and your partner will likely be in your relationship.
And as Marin says, it’s super important to intimacy, foreplay, and attraction in general.
But no one likes kissing someone who is hyperactive and all over the place.
Its connection and being present, she says.
Its the perfect way to show, Im here with you.
Other people are shy and timid, and their kisses end up feeling lifeless.
Kiss this area and see what resonates most.
That’ll cover your basic kiss.
But it can also help to keep in mind that any good makeout session includes various types of kissing.
It’s all about reading the moment.
Some people like relaxed lips, firm or even wide and soft, says Levine.
once you nail a few styles, you might try them out with your partner.
Use Your Tongue Wisely
Another common characteristic of bad kissing is using way too much tongue.
In terms of skill, kissing is about the lips first, says Levine.
Once you master pressure and lip technique you’ve got the option to then figure out tongue motions.
When it feels like time to add some tongue, be gentle.
Your tongue is an incredibly strong muscle, so you should probably be careful not to go overboard.
Try just gently touching your tongue to your partners at first.
Imagine that your tongues are softly caressing each other, says Marin.
Be sensual, says Levine.
It could be passionate and more robust in the heat of the moment and thats okay too.
Then play around with different ways of moving your tongue across your skin.
This isnt the time for a staring contest.
Get Your Whole Body Involved
The best kisses involve your entire body, not just your lips!
Use your hands to caress your partners hair and face, says Levine.
Match the kiss to the moment: soft if its tender, harder if its more intense.
Wrap your arms around your partner, or stroke their arms, shoulders, and back with your hands.
Press your body up against theirs.
Hold their face in your hands, or run your hands through their hair.
you might also take little breaks from their lips to kiss their neck or ears, says Marin.
Use your body to create some variety the possibilities are basically endless.
Be A Tease Between Kisses
Teasing your partner between kisses can be a ton of fun.
I have a favorite trick that has always worked for me, Claus said.
Pull back the tiniest bit.
Not even a half inch.
If your partner follows you, or pounces, they are having a good time.
And while it sounds weird, breathing is also another component of kissing.
You could also try brushing your lips against yourpartner’s without actually kissing them.
Kissing is like dancing: One person leads and the other follows, says Levine.
Are they moving their tongue very slowly?
Do theylet out a little moaneach time you bite their lower lip?
Use these cues to cater your kissing to them, and have a go at adapt.
That way, youll know exactly what theyre looking for.
You have to learn how to dance together, says Levine.
No matter what the song is, you match it.
If youstill feel anxiety, it also doesnt hurt to just talk to your partner about it.
Kelly Donohoepreviously told Bustle.
We grow trust by talking and spending time together without pressure to make anything physical.
It can also happen through open conversations about how safe we will each be when we aren’t together.
When we trust our partner to be safe, we can feel as safe as possible kissing."
Its also worth keeping in mind that yourenot going to have great chemistrywith everyone you meet.
Sometimes its just going to feel off or awkward.
That doesnt make you a bad kisser, it just means you havent found the right kissing partner!
Kissing tells a whole lot about chemistry in bed.
Tarryn Dier, a relationshipexpert, says that communication is key.
if theyre doing something that youre not into.
Telling them exactly what you like means youre more likely to get it again in the future.
And who wouldnt like to hear theyre kissing you well?
Offer A Compliment Sandwich
If theres room for improvement, thats OK, too.
you’ve got the option to gently guide your partner toward the style of kiss youre really craving.
To the fullest extent possible, give them genuine compliments.
If you like someone but not their makeout style, that doesnt mean youre necessarily wrong for each other.
The setting and timing can play big roles, too.
The second time around, they might be more relaxed.
You might feel more comfortable on your doorstep than outside a busy subway station.
A lot of variables go into your connection.
And that is a reason to throw a fish back into the sea.
There are a few reasons to let the other person initiate the kiss or take control of the move.
Kissing is intimate and deeply personal.
Dont shy away from expressing what works for you and what doesnt.
Theres no shame in needing something else.
Because everyone is different, there isnt one perfect way to kiss.
But by showing your partner what you like, youre giving them the opportunity to observe whats perfect foryou.
There are so many right ways!
The question is whether it’s right for you and your partner.
Its Not Just About The Lips
Sure, the mouth is the star of the show here.
It becomes a kind of tease technique if you want it to [be].
Know what you want?
Dont be afraid to let the person youre kissing know.
Theyll appreciate the intel.
Share with your partner wherebesides your mouthyou want the kisses to land,Levinepreviously told Bustle.
And learn what they like too.
Sounds, especially around the ears, can be extra erotic, Levine said.
This could also include sweet whispers or dirty talk.
Other areas you might pay attention to:
Obviously, oral is another option.
Sure, a chapped lips-kiss is memorable, but not in the way you want it to be.
Hey, it worked inPretty Woman.
Try starting with a close hug or cuddling in bed.
Loosen Up
Get playful.
But because making out is so commonplace, your partner might be surprised by that information.
Dont panic just be proactive.
Give them a road map by offering up other ways youd like to be intimate with them.
Suggest things you do like, things that do turn you on.
There is no one way, says Levine.
You figure out what feels good to the two of you!
Let Your Desires Change Over Time
Like everything else, relationships ebb and flow.
Dont put pressure on yourself to keep your connection exactly the same as it was on day one.
But Also…. Keep Kissing!
Consent is of the utmost importance.
If either of you isnt interested in intimacy, thats a red stop light, no questions asked.
Fake it til you make it.
You never know where a single kiss could lead you.
Studies cited:
Busby, D.M., Hanna-Walker, V., & Leavitt, C.M.
