Holidays
Keep the celebrations as pleasant and peaceful as possible.
When it comes to family, however, sometimes lines get blurred.
Feelings of obligation or devotion can keep you from putting yourself first.
Andsetting boundaries with familycan be even trickier during the holidays.
What should you say?
How will they react?
Personal discussions, like prying into your love life, can be fraught too.
Drawing this boundary and enforcing it is healthy and appropriate, says Tzall.
Saying nois not being rude.
Framing it as beneficial tothemmight inspire them to be more understanding.
Maybe youll give them three hours on Thanksgiving or one weekend during the winter holidays.
Once you decide, let your relatives know, especially if youre making a big change from previous years.
Keep things kind but firm.
A comment like, You always start fights about politics, is likely to inflame the conversation.
The more you share with them, the easier the visit will be.
Then turn and keep enjoying your meal.
If this tends to happen at your get-togethers, he recommends being direct.
7Be Consistent
The only way to ensure your boundaries will stick is by being consistent with them.
If it continues, Ill step away to avoid further conflict.
And then actually follow through.
Feel empowered as you say this, instead of guilty or ashamed.
If they dont listen, its also OK to leave.
Give yourself permission to step away if you start feeling overwhelmed, says Webb.
To mitigate any worries or concerns, Tzall recommends practicing beforehand.
This might mean talking out loud how you might say no or switch the subject, he says.
Practice could also be mentally fantasizing about what you will do if or when your boundary gets tested.
