Books
Novelist Jasmine Guillory shows affection with brownies and jambalaya.
Theres so much food in this book!
Doesnt everyone show love through food?
Well, apparently not, but my characters all do.
But it never felt small to me.
We all played in the backyard, fighting and making up and having constant adventures every day.
And we all spent a lot of time in Grannys kitchen.
But the thing I remember more than any other that Granny made was her coconut cake.
My cousin laughed, and said, No, that was Papas favorite cake.
All that time, Granny had really been making the cake for Papa.
I hadnt even realized it.
My Grandma my mothers mom had three husbands, all of whom she loved dearly.
Her third husband, Stan, was another grandfather to me.
But those arent the things I think of most.
When Stan was dying, he came home from the hospital for his last few days.
I said, Grandma, what are you doing?
I said, Yes, but…why?
She said, Well, people still have to eat lunch!
I just smiled, and went to the back room, where Stans hospital bed had been set up.
He was totally lucid, in good spirits, and was smiling and joking with me as usual.
And then he asked me, Whats your grandmother doing?
I said, Shes peeling and deveining shrimp.
He looked at me, and I looked back at him, and we both burst out laughing.
Its a really great one.
I learned this lesson from my grandmothers, more or less unconsciously.
When I love someone or even like them a lot I want to feed them.
She still remembers those cookies, what a surprise they were, and how loved they made her felt.
Even though it was hard, I found small ways to do it.
One sad, precious moment from that year was from when a friends beloved dog died.
She opened the door, saw the cookies, and started crying.
Then she put her mask on, and said, Can we hug?
That was one of the best hugs Ive ever had.
And when loved ones do this for me, it touches me deeply.
(The Friday night dinners in theGilmore Girlsnever had quite enough details about the food for my taste).
If so, I havent met them.
Gifts of food can do so much, both for the recipient and the giver.
And they also make someone feel seen, cared for, and loved.
Food is the way to my heart, in real life, as well as in fiction.
From the bookBLACK LOVE MATTERS:REAL TALK ON ROMANCE, BEING SEEN, AND HAPPILY EVER AFTERSedited byJessicaP.Pryde.
Copyright 2022 by Berkley, an imprint of Penguin Random House.
This article was originally published onFeb.
