Before diving into how to cope, it helps to understand whyfamily holidays are so stressful.
Add in thestress of lofty holiday expectations, and its no wonder you feel on edge.
Mental cues, likefeelings of overwhelm or frustration, may mean you should probably take a break.
you’re able to also set sensory boundaries, says licensed psychologistJan Newman, Ph.D.. Im going to take my food and sit in a quieter room for a while.
Its all about looking out for your needs.
Pop in, make your appearance, then bounce.
Make the holidays work on your terms, not the other way around.
Take Time To Cool Off
Sometimes stress takes you by surprise.
Everything might be going well until bam!
you find yourself in the middle of a dinner table debate or a parents meltdown.
If that happens and you notice that youre caught up in the chaos, venture to hit pause.
Being able topause and ground yourselfis one of the best tools you could use, Neupert says.
She suggests going to the bathroom tosplash cold water on your faceor wrists.
This is a great way toslow down your heart rateand give you some time to intentionally respond versus react.
Take Deep Breaths
One easy hack?
Remember you’re free to always focus on your breath whenever things get hairy.
This will help you to clear your head and calm down.
Deep breathing is basically the simplest and quickest way to chill out, and itsbacked by science.
Change The Topic
Another way to prevent upsetting convos?
Mastering the art of changing the topic.
Brainstorm some options beforehand.
State Your Needs
Find yourself doing all the planning?
Buying all the groceries or gifts?
Or standing in the kitchen alone amongst piles of dirty dishes?
If youre totally overwhelmed, remember to speak up.
It’s OK to be clear and direct about what you need, says psychotherapistKate OBrien.
If you need a break or some help, say so.
And ifyou need to say no, go for it.
Ultimately, youll feel better if you take care of yourself along the way.
Stick With Your Allies
Another option is to stay close to the allies in your family.
it’s possible for you to also turn to these people to vent your frustrations, she says.
According to Wilson, this is a super common tactic, but one that often backfires.
Sit Back & Observe
If all else fails, you could always sit back and observe whats going on.
When you learn to observe rather than engage, it can transform everything, says clinical hypnotherapistSteph McGee.
Get Some Sleep
Its also important to take care of yourself physically.
McGee recommendsgetting plenty of sleepin the days leading up to, during, and after the holidays.
It’s just part of the territory.
Studies referenced:
Zaccaro, A.