Seal The Deal
Six people who negotiate for a living share their tips for getting what you want.
Once upon a time, there was a mansending mixed signals.
On dates, he was effusive, engaged, and seemingly excited about the woman hed just met.
Was he looking for a relationship with her or just the occasional hang?
to whats the right way to raise our children?
The woman in the fairy tale above was me.
Maybe it shouldnt be this hard.
But perhaps forming the most important relationship of your life shouldnt be too easy, either.
In general, people are open to negotiation, if they’re reasonable people who are interested in you.
It’s not always personal, but who wants to spend time with someone who doesn’t value them?
She also thinks that your big-picture plans should be stated early on.
Be clear about where your bright lines are.
Communication and healthy boundaries solve 90% of relationship problems between compatible people.
So dont come in hot or sickly sweet.
People see right through you if you’re overly aggressive or insincere, she says.
What are the more subtle signals that they give?
And just because we both want a family doesn’t mean we’d want it together.
But why bother if you’re totally not on the same page?
Don’t hide things that are essential to who you are as a person, Lazier says.
State Your Case, Then Stop Talking
Once the desire is spoken I like you.
Do you like me?
One thing that I use a lot is silence.
It can really disarm a situation, she says.
Let the other person break the quiet, and just see what bubbles up.
Then ask, How do you see things?
Or better yet avoid dating people whod need an ultimatum to want to spend their life with you!
A Survivor’s Guide for Thriving Through Mergers & Acquisitions.
Ponder the best, strongest couples youve ever known, she advises.
They bring out the best in each other.
And those are the partnerships you admire.
This article was originally published onDec.
