Relationships
And that sexual attractiveness doesn’t equal sexual availability.
Yasmin Benoit is asexual and aromantic aka aroace, or someone who doesnt experience sexual or romantic attraction.
I was never one of those kids that made people go, Oh my god, shes so pretty.
(No offense toTodd Chavez, the aceBoJack Horsemancharacter.)
Now itsAce Week, an annual international campaign designed to go beyond just raising awareness for the orientation.
When did you first realize you wereasexual and aromantic?
Those experiences blended into the same thing.
I didnt really differentiate them until I realized there are lots ofasexualpeople that arent aromantic.
I realized I was asexual when everyone else seemed to realize that theywerent.
Even though I discovered the wordaromanticprobably around that time, it didnt seem that relevant to me.
Was it a difficult realization for you?
No, it wasnt.
Ive always said being asexual was never the weirdest thing about me.
I was already navigating our world as an unusual-looking Black girl in a predominantly white school at the time.
Does being asexual almost necessitate being an activist?
I became very skilled at adopting a dont ask, dont tell policy.
There would be people Id been friends with for five years who did not know I was asexual.
I guess to a degree if youre open about it, youre gonna have to do some educating.
You should be able to just sit on your butt and not do anything if you dont want to.
So then its like, well, youre a walking c*ck tease.
When people think of asexuality, they dont often envision someone like you, as a Black woman.
Why do you think that is?
Black girls dont really get to be girls for as long.
Theyre considered more adult and available from a much younger age.
Then I also think its an issue in the representation that asexuality tends to get.
Theres usually a preference for representing asexual people as being white, even if its not explicit.
They have aSheldon Cooper-esque imagein their head when they think of asexuality.
Because of those factors, youre less likely to have Black people that are open about being asexual.
Were not just a bunch of white kids.
We have a Black person right here.
It doesnt matter how liberal your circle is.
Doesnt matter how good your intentions are.
Is modeling a way for you to break through the perceived whiteness of the ace community?
I think its become that.
It wasnt my motivation in the beginning.
Does representing so much to so many people ever get exhausting for you?
Being seen as a living symbol of something [is] a weird, dehumanizing thing.
I dont know them.
People talkatme a lot.
That adds an extra weird social weight to even simple things that you do.
Its not something where you better do a TED Talk about it all the time.
What does #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike mean to you?
Id always been told, Oh, you dont look asexual.
You dont seem asexual, because you dress like this, and you look like this.
You might hear from asexual people online, but its a lot harder toseeus.
What ended up surprising you about that campaign?
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
This article was originally published onOct.
