Woof

Its not about the pasta, but its definitely about the puppies.

When it comes to BravosVanderpump Rules, there are three tiers of drama.

The first, as anyone with just apassingunderstanding ofScandovalis aware, is spurred by cheating.

Then comes the groups vacations (where, incidentally, a lot of the cheating occurs).

(As well as the showsonly felony chargeafter Jax stole a pair of sunglasses in Honolulu.)

The third tier ofVanderpump Rulesdrama is much more niche and far more adorable.

Im talking, of course, of the shows many dog-related incidents.

Its been well established since Lisa VanderpumpsReal Housewives of Beverly Hillsdays that the matriarch ofVanderpump Rulesis dog crazy.

The staff of her restaurants are not far behind.

Despite being hot messes of human beings, the cast ofVanderpumpare by and large great to their furry friends.

Have there been questionable moments?

But aside from Raquel Leviss more on that later they treat their pets much better than their partners.

Along with Jaxs cheating, of course.

Will You… Share a Dog With Me?

By Season 3, Katies absolutely desperate for Schwartz to put a ring on her finger.

Come 2014, Katie thought it was high time she becomeSenorita Bubba.

But instead of proposing, Schwartz spends the season giving Katie everything short of the diamond shes after.

Yet as much as Katie loved Gordo, he didnt distract her from getting engaged for long.

Naturally, their meeting with their lawyer is filmed for the show.

(Why would there be any attorney-client privilege onVanderpump?)

When going through their list of assets, they both realize that they have… next to none.

But the one thing they do have to make a plan for is their dogs.

(By Season 5 theyve adopted a second pup, this time named Butter.)

Having to think about what would happen in terms of custody of Gordo and Butter?

To celebrate, they decide to throw a puppy shower for all of their friends.

There was just one hiccup: everyone hates James.

In fact, Stassi uses their invitation to warn Raquel that shes like the woman married to Charles Manson.

Their engagement, marriage, and later,divorce.

By Season 10,the Bubbashad moved out of their Valley Village home, and on with their lives.

But thanks to their handy prenuptial agreement, Gordo and Butters custody arrangement had already been sorted.

Whats Graham Got to Do With It?

When James and Raquel first ended their engagement, the latter seems to have won the breakup.

and they seem to temporarily bury the hatchet.

(See: tier two of the shows most reliable sources of drama.)

And in Season 10 the destination is none other than Nevadas Lake Havasu?!

Obscure choice in locale aside, the gang succeeds in bringing the drama.

“My dog had just died.

I cried in your arms, and you thought, ‘I should go f*ck her boyfriend?

‘“Ariana said to Raquel at the reunion.

“You are lower than the lowest of low people, you really are.

I hope Charlotte haunts you.”

But even the fine people atReality Teacould see right through this lame attempt at garnering good will.

The timing of this post is very telling.

The highly anticipated Season 10 finale had just aired, and Schwartzs deeper involvement was very clear.

Despite his narrative of being a victim of Sandoval and Raquels plotting, thegossip rag wrote.

It seems like Schwartz is using the dog as some sort of emotional shield against the continued public backlash.

(TLDR, Raquels mother alleges Graham bit her to the bone.)

This article was originally published onJuly 31, 2023