14
For the actor and comedian, being able to make her friends laugh was like being in heaven.
Adolescence is all about exploration, but at 14,Kate Berlantalready knew one key thing about herself.
I was a manic clown, the comedian and actor, now 34, tells Bustle over the phone.
My entire identity was wrapped up in that.
I’m one of the very rare people who loved junior high, she admits.
I was in heaven.
Yet in real life, Berlant and Earlys relationship couldnt be more pure.
Below, Berlant talks wheelie backpacks, water bras, and showing off herLizzie McGuirehairdo at school.
Take me back to 2001-2002, when you were 14.
What were your biggest hopes and worries?
I was [living] in LA.
I’m a little young for my year, so I was in the ninth grade.
I somehow bypassed the anxiety [of adolescence].
I had no romantic prospects whatsoever.
There was a purity and a true innocence to my life then.
Did you have a wheelie backpack because you were concerned about your posture?
I think I already was hypochondriac, and I think I feared the heaviness.
Were you already thinking about a career in comedy at that age?
I wanted to be an actress.
I did stand-up for the first time when I was 17.
I think she was the president and I was the vice president of thespian society.
We definitely created the theater department at our little high school.
My ambition was always to be an actress, and everything I did was comedy at that point.
But I hadn’t really considered that what I actually wanted was to be a comedian as well.
You also had your first credited role around that age, onLizzie McGuirein 2002.
How did that come to be?
Yeah, that was actually [through] my best friend.
I got an audition through her mom’s friend forLizzie McGuireand to my absolute shock, I booked it.
Since then, I’ve almost never gotten a job from an audition.
It was totally surreal.
Got the fullLizzie McGuirehairdo, which I then wore to school the next day.
And I was on top of the world.
What can I say?
What was the hairdo?
Sort of half up, half down.
Something much more elaborate than I had ever experienced.
This age can also be a delicate time for girls, especially with puberty.
Do you remember how you were feeling in your body at 14?
Did you feel comfortable in your own skin?
I think I was so radically desexualized.
I was really just a pure clown.
There was no part of me that felt sexy or anything, but I was definitely obsessed with sex.
I would dress up with a couple of my best friends and wish I had boobs.
You could actually hear it.
If you’re running or something, it would be sloshing.
Did you have any formative celebrity crushes?
I was really obsessed withHedwig and the Angry Inchand Michael Pitt.
What did you like doing for fun when you were 14?
I played drums a little bit.
I had a little video camera that I was really obsessed with.
Did you ever edit the footage into anything?
No, I never edited them, really.
I made a couple little things with some friends.
Sometimes Id film them without them knowing, which is kind of strange.
Do you think the tapes are long gone, or do you still have them?
Oh God, no.
I never throw anything away!
Have you ever looked at them since?
That’s very cute.
What were you getting in trouble for at 14?
I actually did get detention, but it was all for uniform violations.
I got in trouble for that.
I didn’t get in any kind of serious trouble; it was mostly just minor uniform violations.
So I think I was testing the limits.
I definitely was a prankster; I liked being mischievous at school.
So I liked kind of harmless, kind of benevolent pranks.
What do you think your 14-year-old self would think of you now?
It seems like you’ve followed a path you were already setting up even then.
Is there any advice that you would have given her at the time for what she was going through?
I think this is what everyone says when they reflect back, but not to worry.
I was pretty much a hypochondriac.
I was obsessed with my appendix bursting.
I had a lot of anxiety about that kind of stuff.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
