28
The writer finished her legendary Pacific Crest Trail hike just before her 27th birthday.
Heres what happened next.
In the aftermath, Strayed came undone.
There was reckless promiscuity, divorce from her first love, and a dalliance with heroin.
The life my mother had wanted for me.
That was the life she resuscitated on the PCT.
I wasnt saying, I need to go on this hike because I need to become a different person.
It was, I need to be returned to myself.
Strayed stepped off the PCT two days before her 27th birthday.
The next year, she took a job as an advocate for at-risk middle school girls.
And I wasnt wrong about that.
Ive just spent a week reading your work and crying a lot.
I love to make people cry.
Those late-20s years were my real and final entry into adulthood.
I was humble enough to realize, Im always growing, always learning, always making mistakes.
Your novel has been written!
And around 28, 29, I was like, Oh, geez.
And I really need to figure out how to do it.
As I approached my 30th birthday, I decided to apply to graduate school.
My MFA program was basically my paid gig so I could writemy first book.
Within a couple weeks of finishing it, it had sold to Houghton Mifflin.
Your message was that no one is coming to your rescue, that you have to rescue yourself.
Had you reached that realization by 28?
I dont want… fill-in-the-blank.
But once you might say, This burden Ive been saying I cant carry?
Ive actually been carrying it all along.
So how about I learn to carry it with grace, courage, or strength?
Thats what I was trying to tell those girls.
I loved those girls.
It was the job that changed my heart, mind, and life in so many ways.
And even then, in this incredibly rewarding job, I had this terrible sinking feeling in my gut.
A voice within me was saying, This job is not what youre here to do.
That was the job I quit when I went to graduate school.
We tend to fear being perceived as trauma dumping or oversharing when were open about our pasts.
But doesnt everybody have trauma?
Do you wish people would talk more openly about it?
Rather its, Did something happen to you that made you feel like you couldnt go on?
[We think] theres this scale, that one is clearly worse than the other.
But we all live our own lives.
The worst thing that happened to you is the worst thing that happened to you.
Theres always healing, recovery, and forgiveness.
When were vulnerable and tell the truth about who we are, we recognize each other.
Thats what vulnerability does.
It creates a forum where we can speak honestly.
If you could have written to Dear Sugar at 28, what would you have asked?
And I wouldve asked Sugar to help me through that.
What advice do you have for not letting the past resurface and drown you?
Again, Im a big believer in acceptance.
The past isnt something we leave behind; its something we carry with us.
That doesnt mean were constantly dragged back, haunted, or burdened by an old story of ourselves.
At the time, I was like, I want to leave that in the past.
And yet, the work we did by saying, OK, wait a minute.
What if we let that be a part of our story that makes us stronger?
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
