28
TheGood Luck To You, Leo Grandeactor on sex positivity, body dysmorphia, & more.
Talking about sex is always completely fascinating, Emma Thompson tells me.
Its my favourite topic of conversation.
And so an unexpected and, at times, conflicted journey begins for the two of them.
Theres no reason for us not to investigate sexual pleasure much more deeply.
Its a story that found the actor at the right time in her life, she tells me.
Interestingly, Thompson feels its a tale the world is now in a good position to hear.
But shes quick to dispel any notion that her life has ever been perfect.
It was something she was, understandably, still processing as she navigated her late 20s.
She was also suffering with a crippling body dysmorphia.
In 1987, where was home for you?
Im a born and bred Londoner.
At that time, I was living in my beloved deceased great uncles flat.
It was a bedsit, but really nice.
It was on the same street that I have lived on all my life.
Im still based there.
At 28, you won a TV BAFTA for Best Actress.
Take me back to that special moment.
I remember that night very well.
It was really good fun.
I think Princess Anne was there.
The French were there, too.
ActorDaniel Auteuil was getting an award[for period filmJean de Florette].
He cast me aside like an empty can of beer.
But that night was incredibly important for me.
I felt that I was in the right profession.
I thought, Well, I must be getting something right.
I think for young people to get awards like that is a very encouraging thing.
What was your view on love and relationships at 28?
I still felt quite romantically inclined about relationships, which I now realise is completely delusional.
I wasnt thinking about having children at the time.
Instead, I was thinking, What shall I do next?
What shall I write?
At 28, what was your relationship like with your body?
Oh, it was completely f*cked up.
It was much worse than it is now.
I lost confidence in my body in my early teens.
That Id never be thin or pretty enough.
I felt that my shape, and everything, was wrong.
Its a great, great shame.
Its a waste of time, energy, money, passion, and purpose.
I now know that I never will.
Ill die with it, and thats that.
Looking back, do you think you were emotionally fulfilled at 28?
That is a place that would be nice to get to sooner rather than later.
I could have done with a little bit more therapy, probably.
What was the soundtrack to your 28th year?
It was quite eclectic, but basically anything I could dance to.
My great hero was David Bowie.
I liked Paul Weller, The Clash, and some punk music, too.
Ladies of the Canyon [1970] was a very seminal record for me.
What social issues were you passionate about back then?
The same ones Im passionate about now.
By that time, Id met my human rights mentor,Helen Bamber.
She led me into the world of Freedom From Torture [a charity] and working against human trafficking.
I was active on lots of political fronts at that age.
Had you experienced serious heartbreak at 28?
Id had my heart broken properly twice by then.
It was so painful: absolute agony.
My grandmother used to say: Your heart is no good unless its been broken at least 10 times.
I wonder if thats true.
I think it [heartbreak] does make you very compassionate, because it makes you so vulnerable.
You think, Ill never be the same again.
And perhaps you wont, as you learn something when you experience something so intense.
If you could go back in time and visit your 28-year-old self, what advice would you give her?
Stick to your guns and dont be frightened.
What, if anything, was holding you back at 28?
The fact that I was female and, like it or not, we just werent taken as seriously.
You really have to find your own way.
I was extremely fortunate because I had older men in my life, who championed women.
Its not automatic for women.
Are you still in touch with any of your social circle from that time?
My three best friends from then are still my best friends.
Theres my best friend from school, who I met when I was 12.
There’s my best friend from university.
And my very oldest friend is a man who I met when I was nine.
My friends are some of the greatest joys of my life.
And Im good at friendship.
You cant just assume people are going to hang about if you dont continue to show an interest.
You are a role model to many.
Tell me, who was your role model when you were 28?
I loved and adoredLily Tomlin.
They were really bright with the sketches they created.
Tomlin was funny and clever, and played all of these characters.
I wanted to be her.
My mother was also a role model for me.
If you could go back and change anything from that year, what would it be?
There were a couple of outfits that were ill-judged [laughs].
But I think Id stop dieting.
I would absolutely venture to defuse this body dysmorphia thing, and really focus on it.
Its regrettable and tragic how much time I spent worrying about that.
Id like to repurpose that energy elsewhere.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
