I had to get a facial the day before yesterday, she says.
Im in a Brandy Melville dress.
Im on a Citi Bike like, This is gross.
The material is thin.
I had on underwear but it didnt feel safe.
It also happened to be the last gasps of summer.
So from 18th Street to Saks, I biked up in that heat.
And two people throughout the day got pictures with me.
Theyre like, Oh my God, its Brynn fromRHONY!
I turned to them like, What the f*ck is up with this traffic?
I dont know if youve ever watched30 Rock, she says.
You know the one where they showhow each character sees the world?
In my mind, after I tell a joke, I hearding!
Shes always been like this.
I smoked pot with the hippies.
She also was, as she puts it, a f*cking lunatic partying, shoplifting, vandalizing.
She got fired from her first job at Dairy Queen for being stoned.
I had a couple of mornings where theyre like, Brynn, dont eat the food.
And I was like, OK, boss.
Hes like, You have to go home.
When you have nothing, she tells me, you have nothing to lose.
The company that I was with had [gotten] acquired.
I took a year off and was like, I dont have anything else to do.
It might blow up or it might be fun.
She scrunches her face.
I know it sounds like a No Fear T-shirt from the 90s.
You know what I worked on?
she says, eager to clarify.
I worked with Shell Oil [on its] sustainability group.
Its called Shell Eco-marathon.
Each year, they host all different universities who are specialized in mechanical engineering.
They fly you down to Houston and basically, the students compete in this sustainability race.
Then the BP crisis hit and affected the whole industry.
So again, I am proud of that experience.
Ive worked since I was 15 years old.
Why do I want to work?
I want to stay at home.
I can keep myself busy all day long.
All my friends told me to ask Whitfield: Are her other ex-fiances as hot as he is?
Yes, she says.
The rings werent as big, though.
Whitfield has some advice about how to land the lover of your dreams.
All you oughta do is establish eye contact, she says.
She does this to me, and I do feel awkward.
Then when they come approach you, double-check you look at their right eye as theyre talking.
And then you look down at their mouth, and then you look back at their eyes.
We dont need this, she says.
But she believes in-person connection will get you further than a cleverly curated profile any day.
I can get any guy, she continues.
If you do the things I do, any person can.
But their obvious chemistry has had fans wondering:Isit just a joke?
(Lyons is in a relationship with photographerCass Bird.)
She has everything that Im looking for.
Check, check, check.
I dont care what you have rocking down there, Ill date you.
When you check my boxes, it’s possible for you to checkthisbox.
I remember thinking, Look at Gisele, look at Adriana Lima, they’re so beautiful.
And I got excited, she says.
And I grew up and look, I got my boobs done.
I wanted to look like Gisele Bundchen.
I just think it wasnt an option for me.
I think I wanted to kiss her.
I didnt just want her body; I wanted to touch her body.
One of the biggest gifts of being onRHONY, she says, is a renewed connection to the city.
I feel like I work for the mayors office or something.
Im an ambassador for New York.
After watching herself back right now, Whitfield has… no notes.
Whats the point of putting your entire life on camera if youre not going to enjoy yourself?
This article was originally published onOct.