Without This Woman
Helen is a touchstone who brings me back when Ive lost my way.
I am the third of four daughters,and my unsung hero is my second-oldest sister, Helen.
Shes several years older than I am, so I was a kid and she was my teenage sister.
When I went off to college, my parents divorced.
And through that divorce, a lot of the family didnt talk to each other.
People were just silent.
It was a time of change and adjustment.
I had boyfriends and heartbreaks and rent to pay.
I could talk to her about my boyfriends, sex, and my body.
She just accepted it, like, Oh, Constance is 22.
I knew that my oldest sister disapproved of that a lot.
She feared for my ability to pay the rent.
My parents worried about it a lot, too.
We happened to live in New York at the same time, and also Los Angeles.
At the time, she was getting her Ph.D., and I had just moved there.
And to live in the same city as her it was pretty special.
Sometimes when I couldnt afford a meal, shed just make me one.
Theres one I remember.
It was beforeFresh Off the Boat.
I think at that point Id only done theater and maybe a coupleMcDonalds commercials.
I was totally depressed.
And she was like, Just come over, Ill give you beer and food.
I was in my pajamas, and half of my head was in foam rollers.
But because shes my sister, I could do that, and it wasnt that big of a deal.
She runs ultra marathons.
Ive always believed in myself and my resilience, but even people with the greatest confidence havemoments of self-doubt.
For me, Helen is a touchstone who brings me back when Ive lost my way.
Without my sister Helen, I wouldnt have been able to maintain faith in myself.
As told to Leila Barghouty.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
