How does one make a life as a writer?
How do you keep your tenses straight?
How do youmake money?
Only one aspect of making a living as a writer seems knowable:how writers schedule their days.
As a result, there are some problems with the schedule I ultimately cultivated.
Virginia Woolf
Woolf wrote for three hours a day, but didnt start until 10 a.m.
So I spent the morning doing something Woolf found essential to her creative process: I took a bath.
To be perfectly frank, I hate baths.
Youre paralyzed and youre sweaty.
I did not find it particularly inspiring.
I spent the first of Woolfs three work hours writing headlines forThe Onion.
I finished reading a book for research and I wrote a top ten list for a friends Substack.
I was living the dream!
Rich and hiding from the houseguests in her massive mansion!
On this visit to my dads house, I had been writing exclusively from bed.
Simone de Beauvoir
Back in New York, I decided to try out de Beauvoirs schedule.
From 10 a.m. until 1 p.m., I worked.
(My therapist told me the same holds true in my life.)
At lunch, de Beauvoir would see her friends, so I went over to my friend Renees house.
We talked about our work and love lives, about setting long-term goals and making to-do lists.
I found the visit invigorating!
By the time 9 rolled around, I had a whole new outline.
I was a professional writer!
I had a massive amount of cold brew both next to and inside of me!
I can do all things through Patti Smith who strengthens me!
Instead, I kept working.
Like Smith, I ended the day by watching a detective show.
Miranda July
Miranda July wakes up at 6:30 a.m. July spends much of the morning doing Mom duty, as well as checking emails and getting dressed.
I really, really did not want to get out of my pajamas.
I wanted to stay in them and feel bad.
At this point, I still had nearly 2 hours before 9 a.m., when July starts writing.
I got a bagel.
I wrote from 9 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. straight through.
I accomplished more things in one day than anyone had ever accomplished before on planet Earth.
The magic of putting clothes on!
Joan Didion
I really wanted to give Joan Didions schedule the old college try.
Everyone loves Joan Didion!
Hmm, I said, the truth dawning on me.
Maybe I am not a famous writer because I have no resolve.
I decided to give it one more try.
For another, I didnt want to open an entire bottle of Veuve Clicquot to drink one glass alone.
I decided that I didnt need alcohol to judge my own writing harshly.
I can do that sober, brother!
Its easy to think that if ones days were structured differently, ones work would be better for it.
(The magical key is getting an MFA.Wink.)
They weirdly involved, more often than not, putting pants on.
(Something to note.)
They allowed me to see friends, watch movies, and to feel inspired.
As well as allowing me time to do laundry and maybe, just maybe brush my teeth.
This article was originally published onApril 10, 2023
