Down Bad
He is out of Crocs and into Versace.
Channing Tatum is down bad.
He should be I would be too if I were dating Zoe Kravitz.
He isout of crocs, thanks to Kravitz, and intoVersace.
He is holding her purse at the Met Gala (again, as he should be).
He is chauffeuring around the 52 actress on the back of his bike.
And in his horniest move yet, he is following multiple Zoe Kravitzstan accounts!
Ladies, take notes.Its clear who is the top in the relationship.
When photos of the new couple first emerged this summer, I was terribly confused.
This was not on my 2021 celebrity couples bingo card (thoughShawn Mendes and Camila Cabellos breakupwas!).
Though unexpected, it is legendary nonetheless.
We all watchedthis scene fromMagic Mike XXL.We see the vision, baby.
He is more a man ofamoment (namely,Magic Mikefame) and she is, well, evergreen.
And yet, thevolumeon thesephotos of the pair laughingin New York City is, frankly,astronomical.
No one laughs like that unless theyre getting d*cked down.
You cannot convince me I am wrong, because no white man has ever been that funny.
Still, Kravitzs outsize influence in the relationship is clear.
Before Zoe, (lets call this era B.Z.
After Zoe, (A.Z.
It hasnt been easy in what can only be described asredrumfont.
I havent seen this man so deep in his feelings since he discovered the astrology appThe Pattern.
(I wonder if any of his Pattern readings could have predictedthis?).
Im not dragging him, I promise.
I am proud of him.
I am happy for him and Zoe.
In fact, I would love to be invited over to, um, talk.
Their aesthetic feels familiar in that Ive seen a knock-off version of this couple before.
Calling their lookDimes Squarefeels like a disservice specifically to Kravitz, but can you see the vision, right?
Though yes, he is fine, she elevates his aesthetic.
Zoe Kravitz has that effect on the men she dates.
She was the real Serena inPenn Badgleys life.
Did most of us even know who Michael Fassbender was before she dated him?
But I know we all watchedShamejust to see whats up.
Kravitz just always feels like one of those people who is too divine to date (men).
Channing Tatum is living proof that once a decent-looking white mansmoothly goes bald, their options are limitless.
Just ask Stanley Tucci orthis guy.
