Dating
“The whole system makes it feels like youre shooting your shot at someone out of your league.
Hinge users receive one free rose per week.
To quote Carly Rae Jepsen, they must really, really, really, really, really like you.
Thats why, for many women, sending roses can feelcringey.
Its a strong show of interest that upends gender norms.
Looking that eager on the internet, I could not, one personsaidon TikTok.
Could be Harry Styles.
Another TikTok usercommented, i accidentally sent a rose once and the embarrassment keeps me up at night.
Melissa, 33, has received a few roses on Hinge, and sends them out even less.
I don’t know how guys feel when they receive roses, she says.
People know you only get one however often, and you’re using it on them.
Are roses as significant as they seem?
How Men Feel About Receiving Roses
Men tend to receive roses less frequently than women do.
It feels more special coming from a girl, says Ted, 26.
He tends to perceive that woman as cooler than he might otherwise.
Girls tend to be a little more selective.
As a man, getting a comment from a girl, its extremely satisfying.
I don’t think of it as desperate.
That said, roses can lead to mixed reactions.
The feature can stoke skepticism, leading a recipient to second-guess the sender.
There’s no way because you don’t even need to be sending roses.”
For some, it all comes down to looks.
Josh, 27, says his reaction is wholly based on how attractive he finds the rose-bearer.
I’m trying to date someone who’s as hot or hotter than me, he says.
How Women Feel About Sending Roses
Many women Bustle spoke to hesitate to send roses.
Indeed, theres a stigma around women being scorned asspinstersorleftover women.
As such, Beth and others would prefer not to make the first move.
I dont mind sending the first message, but I like to be liked first.
Its a fear of rejection situation, she says.
If its somebody that I’m interested in, ideally, I would want them to reach out.
Not every woman shies away from trying, though.
Emily, 26, doesnt pay for additional roses, but isnt afraid to shower someone with free flowers.
I really don’t consider it any different than a like, she says.
If it does boost that guy’s ego like whatever.
If I do meet him, great, if I don’t, its water under the bridge.
For Emily, the super-like function isnt that serious.
If I like you, I’ll just shoot my shot.
Although making your affections clear can be intimidating, perhaps women should give it a shot.
