Books
The authors new book of essays probes our relationship with overconsumption.
On the r/deadmallsReddit page, photos of linoleum-tiled halls and emptied ornamental fountains proliferate.
This is an extreme of the bleak feeling that author Emily Mester likes to call Mall Sad.
In her debut essay collectionAmerican Bulk, Mester defines the American Dream as abundance.
What does it mean to be good at buying things?
Whatever hunter-gatherer impulse people might have, mine manifests as finding things to buy.
It energizes me and allows me to sift through and process information.
And my brain says, Itdoeslook really good.
Let me see who else has it, what other colors they have, what its sale history is.
I think its obsessiveness and wanting to activate or to find solidity.
Do you have an early memory of this urge to shop?
We went shopping every weekend.
I pored over mail catalogues.
My dad would always say that my problem was I couldnt delay gratification.
But when it came to buying stuff, my brain was laser-focused.
The psychology of Black Friday is hitting me.
Have you noticed how its starting earlier and earlier?
But no, of course I meant Yes, Im also struggling to not buy everything.
How do you understand the relationship between gender and material consumption?
Even though my dad is the shopper in my life, I see it as really feminized.
Culture portrays it as Lindsay Lohan inConfessions of a Shopaholic.
I like makeup and clothes, but the way I dress and act doesnt quite match.
Ive bought the palettes and then I never used them.
But if I consume these things, it feels like Im arranging the tableaux of my feminine life.
My room has perfume bottles and nail polish and antique lamps.
Its messy, has clothes strewn everywhere a feminized mess.
Has writing the book changed your own buying habits?
Its made me more aware of the stories I tell myself when I shop.
And then it doesnt.
Ive come a long way in terms of thoughtful consumption.
Ive attempted a lot of no buys.
Youre supposed to write down everything you have the impulse to buy but not actually buy it.
Its striking and sobering to realize how addicted you are.
I have a list called Things I Wanted.
[Pulls out phone and opens Notes App:] Yellow New Balances.
Looser loafers my loafers are tight.
And then Id list whether I caved and bought it later: New wallet CAVED.
Sometimes it doesnt fade, and you still really want the heavy iron candelabra.
Why do you have a go at resist the urge to shop or to monetize your shopping addiction?
Im my friends Wirecutter.
People want to make a purchase and they ask me, Whats the best couch?
and Im like, Are you sure you want to know this information?
People say, You should write for The Strategist.
You should have a Substack where you give shopping suggestions.
But I cant do that.
I dont think its morally wrong or anything, but I just cant.
You are very upfront in the book that you have wealth.
Why was it important for you to emphasize your position of privilege?
I think a lot of people who come from money are sheepish about it.
Writers are like that; people in the arts are like that.
What do you say about it?
But the sheepishness makes everyone feel weird and doesnt help anyone.
It creates these gaps in peoples knowledge.
There was no way to write the book without saying what my situation was.
I struggled with whether to continually apologize for it.
Nobody likes to see someones elses guilt.
How did you navigate writing a personal family story that is also making conclusions about all of America?
Writing the book was an exercise in compassion towards why someone is the way they are.
Ive been thinking a lot about having compassion for the so-called other side.
I mean, thats crazy.
Its literally half of people, but when youre in a bubble, you dont see that.
Overconsumption is a bipartisan issue.
A church and a grocery store are hyperlocal.
But an Olive Garden is just spread out enough that people come from different class stratum to eat there.
Everyone shops; everyone goes to the mall.
Hoarding, too, cuts across class in a way that even I was surprised by.
Stuff is the language that that disorder speaks but its not class-distinct.
It comes from a lot of places and affects a lot of people.
A lot of people are making gift guides now, everyone and their mother.
What is behind this desire?
Making one is the same thing as showing your year-end Spotify list or sharing your Top 10 movies.
Its explaining yourself through consumption, which we all do.
Its self-expression and itisreally fun.
Im definitely not denying that.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
