Before she could become an Emmy-nominated star on HBO MaxsHacks, the comedian had to battle her own brain.
Its 23 hours of anguish and one hour of euphoria, she says.
She is truly performing at a level of people whove been working for years and years.
Theres an innate talent and spark there.
You cant train it.
You cant teach it.
Its just there, and she has it.
The success ofHackshas changed the vibe of Einbinders stand-up gigs.
Its so interesting and cool!
Ive never met a f***ing chemist!
Instant laughs: She had just done a joke about being in therapy, and the coincidence was perfect.
He flipped me off and said F*** you!
she says, setting her elbows on the table, her middle fingers popping up like a carnival game.
Wait, what?He shouted at her that it wasnt funny.
You think its funny to f***ing laugh at me?
This, frankly, had never occurred to her.
If anything, the adrenaline rush was thrilling.
You just handle it, she says.
When a guy flips me off and yells, F*** you, its over.
Im going to destroy you.
A grin spreads across her face.
Im going to do itlovingly, but Im going to destroy you.
I have all the tools.
I use my tools for good and I could easily use my tools for evil.
This is the story of how Hannah Einbinder got the tools.
Einbinder cannot recall muchof her childhood.
Little girls can smell fear and weakness, and they dont like it, she says.
High school was not any easier.
Einbinder was a competitive cheerleader You know that showCheer?
They were a little better than that.
Ill give them a little credit.
I dont even recognize the person I was.
So she switched over to a television writing and production major, mostly because the credits transferred seamlessly.
Einbinder was, by her own account, not good at improv.
First, she decided Adderall no longer served her.
It was like my life changed.
The control Einbinder thoughtstand-up offered later turned out to be an illusion.
They loved me and were charmed by me as their baby, but they dont give it up.
Ive been trying to get laughs from a crowd of two people my whole life.
Comedians often describe humor as a kind of armor, and Einbinder felt the same way.
She describes her early stand-up as 100% deflection.
The set made a fan out of Conan OBrien, who was impressed by her steely confidence.
Hannah seems to have cracked that at a very young age.
Still, Einbinder kept her comedy lineage under wraps.
It wasnt until I gotHacksthat people knew that, she says.
No one in the scene said anything about it.
I didnt tell anyone.
Her material eventually made its way to Chelsea Handler, who was looking for an opening act.
Shes of this generation that is able to elegantly talk about their personal mental health and relationships.
It is the here and now of how people speak these days.
Shes very representative of that of being really truthful about who she is.
She is awkward and offbeat, and she plays that up.
She sets herself apart.
Shes very clearly a grounded hot mess.
Also: you’re free to write that her hair smells nice.
It took a whilefor Einbinder to bookHacks.
She auditioned a few days before COVID-19 shut the country down.
Smart told the showrunners afterward that Einbinder was her favorite.
She is not vain, and she is good at using her whole physicality.
A lot of that Im sure comes from doing stand-up.
When she finally got the call, Einbinder cried.
I was so happy, like, Im going to have health care!
I have a job!
The show is sick!
It mattered little that her co-workers were impressed and encouraging.
Weve got to give her a Ferrari, Statsky says.)
Einbinder would still go back to her trailer to cry and beat herself up over her performance.
I was letting down the last piece of the armor, Einbinder says.
Hacks, at its core, is a show about how work can save you.
There is no problem its characters cant solve by putting in the hours.
Fulfillment might look different than they imagined, but theyll still find it.
I think its incredibly aspirational for that reason, Einbinder says.
If their personal lives suffer, they dont necessarily regret it.
In real life, Einbinder has learned the limits of these interpretations of the show.
You have to suck for seven years.
(A male comedian recently told her that one at her own headlining show.)
So she missed birthdays and weddings and a couple funerals chasing gigs.
The start of the pandemic, and the sudden loss of work, was at first terrifying then liberating.
Like, Im f***inliving!
She had been struggling with writers block for almost nine months, but now the material was flowing.
Many of the jokes she wrote during the first two weeks are still in her set.
I [was finally] having the moment were all collectively having:Work does not define my life.
What is my place in the capitalist machine?
How have I been brainwashed by this society?
It really hit me: Im such a cog.
I may be an artist, but I am aworkhorseand Im f***ingkillingmyself.
And Ive had writers block because all Im doing is working.
I havent looked inside or lived or done any sort of mind-expanding at all.
As the world has opened back up, Einbinder has held onto that breakthrough.
She loves spending time in nature, going on walks and identifying all the flowers in her neighborhood.
S**t affects me so insanely and derails me.
Taking care of myself has been another thing I just never did.
Einbinder learned aboutthe HBO Max implosionfrom Instagram.
Einbinder says, putting on a voice of faux-panic.
Its happening for sure.
I dont know whats happening with other shows.
Shes never been paparazzid, and she only recently learned whatDeuxMoiwas.
The nerves around comedy, she knows, will never go away.
I ask Einbinder what she gets out of risking failure to be vulnerable.
She goes silent for a long time before speaking.
As soon as she gets her first laughs, it all melts away.
Im just so grateful that Im not delusional, she says.
The confirmation no, youre not delusional, this is real is the biggest reward of all.
