It’s A Pleasure
Unlike sexual partners, most insecurities respond well to faking it.
Its probably a big part of why Ive been afraid of properly wading into the dating pool.
A:Are you ready for me to let you in on The Big Secret?
My friend, pretty muchallof us have certain ways we come.
Certainly, there are those lucky folks out there who can get off in a variety of positions semi-reliably.
They have an old trusty move or fantasy that can help them over the hurdles.
And, of course, there are the folks like you whose orgasm scenarios are more limited.
Youre more than welcome to feel ticked off about it.
The unspoken corollary to that is that you have to find a good partner.
Which is, certainly, easier said than done.
(Literally, no one is capable of that!)
I guess we know how sex is gonna end most of the time for you!
Great, now can we get back to making homemade granola?
Heres the script I would use with a new partner.
Obviously, use your own words!
But how do you get over the insecurity?
Well, unlike sexual partners, most insecurities respond well to faking it.
Youre more than allowed topretendlike this is not a thing youre bothered by.
This in turn will invite your f*ck partner toalsoact as if its no big deal.
(Which, again, it isnt).
(If that person is out there, you two are sexually incompatible, which is a dealbreaker!
Most people are going to be pretty indifferent towards what the position is that gets you off.
It may have been well-intentioned, but that ultimately mademefeel insecure about it.
Im working on not caring about it, but sometimes I get in my head.
All of us get in our heads about sex from time to time (or every time!).
Making someone else feel good in any situation even if its not sex!
is a classic recipe for overthinking.
Think about gift-giving or giving a best man speech or planning a surprise party.
Your partner doesnt need adult supervision every single second.
They need a partner who is open and honest about what feels good.
Its hot to ask for what you want and need in bed.
This isnt some big knock on your dateability just becauseyouare self-conscious about it.
Its A Pleasure appears here every Thursday.
