It’s A Pleasure
If you want a Samantha Jones life, you’re able to have it.
Q:I’ve always had health anxiety, but the pandemic has definitely made it worse.
Lately, my anxiety has been focused on sex and the fear of getting something from someone.
I feel like I’m becoming sex-repulsed because of it.
How can I get over this fear andlive like Samantha Jones?
A:Anxiety is, to be a fabulous writer, the worst.
So c’mon trust me when I say I understand how consuming health anxiety is.
To me, it feels like being trapped insideofthe thing that Im convinced is going to kill me.
Bodies are frustratingly failable.
So again let me affirm: I feel you.
I dont think thats the case for everyone; I do think some people should play it safer.
And I think it has served you very well youre OK right now!
That doesn’t mean that you’re gonna wanna never ride a bicycle.
It doesnt mean that riding one with a helmet on is without risk.
OK, so how do you do this?
First and foremost, I would suggest talking to a therapist.
I know its a cliche for advice columns to suggest this, but its a cliche for a reason.
I cant logically argue against your anxiety and defeat it via this column because anxiety is not logical.
(Sorry to you and me, but its not.)
Its pure pathos and fear.
As for other things you’ve got the option to do now,slow down a bit.
take a stab at go out without kissing anyone first and get more comfortable there.
If you have moments of anxiety, attempt to remind yourself that you have to go through them.
The only way out is through, unfortunately.
about sex risks and what can be done to be as safe as possible.
Many are curable; all are treatable.
Many of them are simplyskin conditionsthat just happen to pass junk to junk.
That is not to minimize thestigma that comes with STIsor the panic weve been taught to feel about them.
Also, I again urge everyone to be as safe as possible while having sex!
Wear condoms; get tested frequently; be honest with partners and ask for honesty from them.
Do research, learn what the risks are, and talk to a doctor if you still have questions!
(Planned Parenthoodis a great resource for this.)
Its a good place to start.
Its very unlikely that a switch is magically going to flip and you wont feel scared anymore.
I promise you that if you want a Samantha Jones life, you’re able to have it.
(I know because Ive had a fair amount of both kinds.)
Casual sexisfun and great.
I am very, very,verypro casual sex.
Its just a fun activity like playing Uno.
Only do it if youre into Uno, OK?
Its A Pleasure appears here every Thursday.
