Its freaking me out.
A:Gather up Jane Austen and J.
Lo, its time to talk about moneys effects on love!
Its very easy to mistake thrills for connection.
I mean, ask anyone who has competed on theBachelorfranchise.
Theres a reason the dates are about helicopters and shopping sprees and not unclogging a shower drain.
Its undeniable that a wealthier life tends to be an easier one, because money can solve many problems.
So how can you tell if your connection is as great as it feels?
Even if he sends a car to pick you up!
You are not DoorDash!
So what if you have a smaller apartment and street parking and roommates?
Think about how you talk about him to your friends.
Whats the first thing you tell them?
In your view, what are his most attractive qualities, and where does wealth fall on that list?
I dont just mean for a day or two; I mean for a good chunk of time.
Do you enjoy his company as much?
Or is the allure of front row Olivia Rodrigo tickets (understandably) tipping the scales in his favor?
His financial backgrounddoes make his lifevery, very different than yours.
He can have every single minor inconvenience taken care of for him.
He can have a chef and a driver and a personal trainer.
Someone no doubt does his taxes and his laundry.
A person unused to friction or nuisance.
A person who doesnt have to problem-solve.
A person who thinks, subconsciously, that the world revolves around them a bit.
Think about his values around money how he uses it, plus his beliefs about class and privilege.
Do you agree with or admire those things?
Does he value the money you earn?
Do you see yourself as equally important, regardless of how much you make?
Does he believe he should have more say in the relationship if hes footing the bill?
The other piece of this is thatwealthy people tend to hang out with other wealthy people.
(Class is a good predictor ofrelationshipsandfriendships.)
Even if he is cool about your background, are his friends and family?
Do they say ignorant things?
How do he and the people around him treat the people who work for them?
This is imperative to discuss.
If he canttalk about his wealthand how it might affect you two, thats not a good sign.
Same with you feeling like you arent allowed to mention the imbalance.
He is not more important than you are because of his wealth.
His time isnotmore valuable than yours.
You just know what youre looking for.
Its A Pleasure appears here every other Thursday.
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