She was like, Honestly, youre really smart.
But you literally dont talk in the meetings, so we had no idea.
So Cheng decided to make a change.
She forced herself to ask questions during meetings.
Even better, she no longer felt awkward at team dinners or on long car rides with the CEO.
I started to be comfortable, she says.
This became the new me.
She learned a difficult truth: When it comes to success, your reputation matters not just your achievements.
Whats Not Working?
The first step in making a change is receiving feedback from trusted sources.
Nik Pollina, a 30-year-old from New York, got that unexpectedly.
She was like, Honestly, youre really smart.
You know what youre doing.
But you literally dont talk in the meetings, so we had no idea.
No ones ever going to know that if you continue on this path of being really shy.
The comment was jarring,but it wound up making a huge difference.
Pollina started pushing herself to speak up, which increased her confidence and ultimately boosted her reputation.
A little more than a year later, she landed a job as a user experience consultant at Google.
The role required leading large workshops and talking with top executives.
I definitely wouldnt have gotten that job if I came off as shy, she says with a laugh.
Still, experts warn not to make panicked, drastic changes afterreceiving negative feedback.
Then and only then should you consider making a change.
Build a true north for yourself, Morgan advises.
What do you want to be?
What do you value?
What are you hoping for?
Because otherwise, youre just walking through life and letting others perceptions guide who you are.
Some people may experience the opposite problem, feeling like theyre floundering with zero guidance.
Maybe youre known as the office grouch because youre simply not a morning person.
Can you rearrange your meetings to be later in the day?
A lot of this is self-knowledge, she says.
Alex Schudy, a marketing manager in San Francisco, employed a slightly more drastic technique.
I kept doing it until [it was] no longer even a persona, she says.
[It] was just me.
You have to be first and foremost focused on your goals, she says.
And if the people that youre engaged with in the workplace are not helping, theyre holding you back.
But as you evolve, they might slowly drift away.
Misery loves company, she says.
[Those co-workers] will go to people who will feed into them.
If youre not doing it, they might just get bored of you.
She urged the woman to explore how shed arrived in this situation in the first place.
Have you thought about what its going to feel like once you get there?
Sometimes your biggest weakness can actually be your advantage.
