Its one way to maintain intimacy and passion with a partner, especially in along-term relationship.
If youre familiar withkinks and power dynamics, you might have heard of dominance and submission.
Dominance and submission is the idea that one person will lead and another follows, saysDr.
Sara Sohn, a pelvic floor physical therapist and sex counselor.
Power exchange is inherent in all relationships.
Dominance and submission plays with the power exchange to enhance connection.
Read on for everything to know about trying a D/s dynamic with your partner, straight from the experts.
How Can I Know If A Dom/Sub Dynamic Is Right For Me?
The world ofkink and BDSMis vast, so its easy to get overwhelmed when youre first entering it.
Focus on what brings you and your partner pleasure and fulfillment.
What Does A Dom/Sub Dynamic Look Like?
Our socialization can influence where wethinkwe are supposed to be, she says.
This might mean each person tries both roles.
There are also certain established structures for D/s in the kink community, according to Sohn.
How Can I Safely Explore A Dom/Sub Dynamic With My Partner?
Use that as a launching point.
Do you usually make your partner breakfast in the morning?
If so, these could be elements to play into when trying a D/s dynamic with a partner.
Sohn recommends asking questions like, Hey, I enjoy when I make your coffee in the morning.
What do you think about making that a responsibility of mine in a power-play exchange?
or I enjoy taking control of sex and letting you check out.
Would you consider exploring that in a more formal way?
According to Sohn, both sides of the D/s spectrum are centered around service.
From the Dominant side it could be making choices when decision fatigue sets in.
From the submissive side it could be negotiating that coffee ritual with a gesture, or word.
Service can be both a Dominant or submissive act; it depends on the intentionality.
The point of D/s is for both you and a partner to achieve mutual andconsensual pleasure.
Youre going to need a lot more than a safe word.
Dont feel pressure to get to the end or make every activity successful.
You have all the time in the world to build on any kink or activity.
Taking time to slowly build up knowledge and skills related to the dynamic is key.
Remember, you and your partner should be doing this for mutual benefit.
Focus onwhat excites youand what you want to try together, says Sohn.
Use an opt-in system for negotiations when starting, rather than an opt-out.
Try the things that you feel an enthusiastic yes [about].
Negotiation is a skill, a verb, and the dynamic can always change over time.
