Make It Make Cents
How do I let go of my resentment?
Q:Im a single woman in my mid-30s.
I usually write each couple a check for $100 to $200.
I cant remember the last time that a wedding cost me less than $1,000.
(And thats not including buying a dress, shoes, or getting my nails or hair done.
I dont consider those to be part of the cost of a wedding; those are optional IMO.)
Im starting to resent the amount of money Ive poured into attending my friends weddings.
How do I get over it?
Should I be doing anything differently at the next wedding I go to?
A:This dilemma is very #relatable.
Yes, a wedding can cost a big chunk of change for guests.
You deserve to look hot too!
It makes sense that youd feel like youre blowing all your money on someone elses event.
Ask yourself: Do they show up for you in the ways that matter to you?
How would you feel if they spent less?
Do they celebrate you and your milestones as a single person right now?
It could also mean they support you in ways that have nothing to do with money.
Perhaps the resentment you feel comes from thinking they wouldnt celebrate you in a similar way.
you could probably purchase a couple of small things that cost less than what youd normally spend.
Add on a thoughtful card and youre golden.
And in some cases, especially for destination weddings, the couple might say they dont expect gifts.
Maybe you do some extra budgeting and reflection before checking yes on the invitation.
Saying no to that sort of financial commitment could be a form of self-care.
If its a close friend who would probably be surprised, give them a call to explain.
Make It Make Cents appears regularly on Bustle.
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