It’s A Pleasure
It would suck to break up over this.
Ive tried boosting his confidence by telling him hes good at it.
I like giving him BJs, and Im happy to experiment with bondage because he loves it.
And most of the time, I do come from regular sex, but its kind of meh.
The next time that happened, I suggested he go down on me.
He did, but I felt guilty because he seemed kind of reluctant.
Since then, hes asked if Ive finished a few times, Ive said no, and thats it.
I finally told him that the question feels performative, like he doesnt actually care what the answer is.
Aside from this, hes very thoughtful!
I like him a LOT.
I would hate to break up over this, but the prospect ofa future with no oralmakes me sad.
What do I do?
So, lets make like Salt-N-Pepa and talk about sex.
Heres How To Handle This
Incompatibility in the bedroomdoes nothaveto be a deal-breaker.
There are many, many people out there who have made that choice with incredibly happy results.
Of course, this tactic punishes you, too.
Its like pinning a scoreboard over your bed and going tit for tat.
Removing his stuff from the menu doesnt lead tohotter sex,and it certainly doesnt get you eaten out.
However, Im a little skeptical that a discussion with this particular guy will be effective.
Im honestly baffled by him even asking you if youve come.
Did he see that in a movie?
Did he watch a TikTok about it?
What does he think hes achieving?
do not let anyone (even yourself) convince you that sustained mediocre sex shouldnt be a big deal.
This isnt a foolish or frivolous reason to end things.
When you said you hadnt come, he simply walked away from you!
Hes not going to magicallywant to go down on you.Ever.
He might agree to do it more often, but that isnt going to make him enjoy it.
Begrudging cunnilingus is not all that erotic.
No one should ever feel degraded, bad, or uncomfortable, but were playing a team sport here.
Everyone involved should be excited to set their teammate up to spike the ball.
their partner is thrilled to be given the gift of intimate knowledge.
Who wouldnt want GPS directions to Come Town?
Well, apparently, your boyfriend doesnt.
Despite his insistence otherwise, hes uninterested in your pleasure.
Hes doing a lot of taking with very little giving.
And he isnt open to feedback… even though hes asking for it.
I think hes unlikely to change.
If you knew that yoursex lifewould be exactly this for the next five years, would you stay?
You cannot entice people into treating you better.
You cannot beg them.
And even if that works in the short term, a loving partner will wantto do those things.
Theyll have genuine curiosity about how to make you come.
Just tell him its really hurtful to not have good sex.
Its A Pleasure appears here once a month.
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