Life

At 24, my love life was missing some magic.

So I decided to shoot my shot with the It Boy of second grade.

It was 11:05 p.m. on Thursday, Jan. 23.

About to kiss me.

Because the last time, we were 7 years old.

That is, until third grade, when I met Evan Carter, the class clown and troublemaker.

And in fourth grade, when I couldnt help but fall for Ben Foster over fractions and Fast Facts.

And in fifth grade, when I obviously obsessed over Nate Andrews, his premature growth spurt and all.

My tendency to develop life-ruining, all-encompassing crushes continued throughout my middle school and high school days.

There was no greater aphrodisiac than a seating chart.

No stronger weapon than a text asking, Do you remember what the homework is?

And nothing I found more crush-worthy than a tween boy who wore basketball shorts in the winter.

I can swipe and swipe until I find exactly what Im looking for.

Hot guy at the bar?

I can take him home forget the yearning.

My remote-work job in a female-dominated field?

No office cuties to flirt with by the copy machine.

This really started to bum me out.

So, I opened up Instagram and started typing.

And then,Jack Parker.

He was my neighbor.

He was right here.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I typed out a message and pressed send.

(Thats a lie.

I created three different drafts in my Notes app first.

Im not a sociopath.)

!, I wrote.

If he did see my profile, what would he think?

As you may have guessed, Jack Parker did reply to my message.

so flattered you thought of me.

I would love to get a drink next week.

Then: giddiness, dancing shamelessly around my room to Taylor SwiftsLoveralbum.

Our date was a week later.

Casual drinks at a Williamsburg jazz bar.

Or at least, I hoped it seemed casual to him to me, it was anything but.

As I walked to the bar, my brain went in circles: What if he doesnt like me?

What if hes really weird now?

You go a little crazy.

He stood up: tall, just like I remembered.

We chatted: funny, a little shy, not so different from before.

We drank: tipsy, flirty, a side Id never seen before.

(I promise, I told him, I would remember if we had a play date.)

Asking him back to my apartment was a no-brainer.

So, now were back to the beginning: 11:05 p.m. on Thursday, Jan. 23.

Little does he know that at about 11:21 p.m., hes going to be doing a lot more.

I feel like I need to cool down and be more chill about the whole thing.

Instead, its the guard that went up from becoming older, wiser, and more scared.

I dont think you should chill out, my therapist told me as I zoned back in.

I think you should let yourself be excited.

Its OK to be scared do it scared.

Jack Parker came over that night, and then he stayed to watchLove Islandwith me in the morning.

This has been really fun, he texted me after our first date.

Im very glad I was your second-grade crush.

I think we may need to patch your status to current crush, I replied.

He was right it is better.