It’s A Pleasure
Is it possible to change who I’m attracted to?
Q:Im atallwoman.
Ive always dated guys who are a few inches taller than me, usually 6 feet and up.
But I cant shake the uncomfortable feeling I get when Im the same size or bigger than a guy.
When he came over and saw my shoe rack, he seemed nervous.
He asked me to put on a pair of 4-inch heels so he could see how tall I looked.
I was towering over him and I hated it.
He didnt seem to love it, either, but he asked me out again.
I plan on wearing low heels on the next date, but worry itll feel off.
I know this obviously limits my options in the dating pool.
Is it possible to change who Im attracted to?
Is it fair to only be attracted to tall guys, especially since Im tall, too?
A:Short men, average-height men: You are filthy hot.
Not to worry, babes!
(The average American man is 5-foot-9, by the way.)
It made me sad!
If someone talked this way about potential matches weight, Id be upset by it, too.
And attractioniskind of the sine qua non of dating!
Part of that is fatphobia, and the rest is misogyny.
What does it say that many women want to feel protected by a tall man?
(And protected from what?
Even taller men?)
Is this really about your own body image?
What if you meet and fall in love with Paul Mescal?
Meanwhile, traditional masculinity asks: What is a man worth if he isnt large?
These biases have real-life consequences look at this letter!
Your job isnt to beat the lumps out of the dough of your opinions and become a Perfect Person.
Do you’re gonna wanna change your behavior?
Thats for you to decide.
(I am the same height as my boyfriend in some heels.
Someone once made a comment to him about it bold, right?
and he was like, Why would I give a sh*t?Thatwas hot.)
Who cares if you tower above a man and clomp around like a Clydesdale?
Clydesdales have untold majesty!
If he cares, hes not the one!
If you meet an average-height or shorter guy andhedoesnt care, I invite you to not care either.
I also invite you to remember thatwhen youre horizontal,height matters little.
Its A Pleasure appears here every other Thursday.
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