[FAST-PACED POP TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS]
Tuck, hold, tuck, freeze!
I howl at the women before me.
Two ponytailed Valley private school graduates.
A silver fox in ballerina cosplay with a face that says 50 but upper arms that admit 64.
Most people never see her like this, back curved and straining.
Like Dr. Krivitsky, Im in the business of helping Angelenos feel like the best version of themselves.
If we were in our right minds, itd be unbearable.
But our minds are the last place we want to be.
If your mind is telling you to quit, dont listen to it!
In, one, two.
Out, one, two!
Looking at their expressionless faces, it might seem easy.
But theyre good at hiding pain.
Watch their pelvises, thrusting in rhythmic unison.
This is the Water Ski position.
Great work, Haley!
Keep it up, Megan!
Good arch, Jess!
I use a secret trick to remember names: associate each woman with a gruesome death.
A hurricane hoovers up Haley.
Emma is eaten alive.
A monster mangles Megan.
Jess jumps off a bridge.
Though who could forget Jess Weisberg?
Just look at her.
Shes a long-limbed, sun-kissed waif with a goddamn loose wave.
This thinly-veiled-eating-disorder-saleswoman is my biggest competition.Oh yes.
Your mind doesnt know how strong your body is!
When it hurts thats your muscles strengthening and looking better!
I have them on their tiptoes, in invisible stilettos, sculpting their calves.
Thats the thing about Go Barre.
It moves too fast for integrity.
Youre leaning back so far back your traps and knees are overcompensating.
She pulls away from the wall another inch and says, I like to work it to the max.
Cocky bitch, I think as I watch her calves quiver and thighs bow out.
This kind of knee strain builds up slowly, imperceptibly, until its something you cant undo.
Then a torn ACL rendered me a geriatric nobody at 18.
[ELLE] Jess, its a marathon not a race.
If we prioritize proper form
[JESS, HARSH] Im good.
The other women eye Jesss thin, dangerously contorted frame and rearrange their bodies to match.
What can I do?
Or at least women with $35 to blow on a single exercise class in hopes of becoming beautiful.
They dont come here for health or proper form.
They want their asses as tight as their necks.
Before you say it.
And its not like I went through with it!
Two, Im self-aware.
Sure, negative self-talk chases me like a tornado, but I pride myself on outrunning it.
I may have to follow Go Barres rules now, but Im going to change the fitness world.
Because I know the cost of worshiping physical beauty firsthand.
Round of applause for yourselves, ladies!
Im so proud of you!
Jess arcs over her outstretched hamstring to hide a smirk, like my ambition is a joke.
Sometimes it feels like that, but one day Iwillachieve my goal.I have to.
From the Audible audiobook ZADDY by Sarah Ramos.
Copyright 2022 by Audible.
Published on May 5, 2022 by Audible.
This article was originally published onMay 5, 2022
