As the sun sets on a Santa Monica patio,Hannah Brownis doing some frank, expletive-laden reflecting.
There were a few years of my childhood where it just felt like shit hit the fan.
And then at the end of high school and the beginning of college: Shit hit the fan.
Then I got a few normal years and then shit hit the fan again.
But you know, Ive made it.
Just like I made it then.
Brown complains about her nails Ugh, theyre growing in!
The word she uses most is grateful, with open-hearted earnesty.
I lived my life as a good girl.
The blowback from the religious community was particularly crushing.
After over a year of therapy and a deliberate step back from Bachelor Nation, Brown is feeling sturdier.
But Brown also recognizes that claiming her most delicate moments for herself wont be easy.
When the subject is brought up, all she can do is laugh nervously.
I almost took it out, she admits.
Theres truly only like two people that know that story.
I had to have it in there.
There are a lot of women out there who can understand what that felt like.
Its not for anything else but just to feel significant.
And I dont want to do that anymore.
In hindsight, she considers it a blessing that that part of her story never aired.
So in a way, Im really grateful [that story didnt air].
Not all the mess referenced in the book is quite so sympathy inducing.
Because its a part of my story.
Do I think that is always deserved?
Still, Brown knows she is destined to make mistakes.
Not the life-altering, painful ones shes made already, but certainly other ones.
Woolard, who previously worked in finance, is also noticeably outside of the Bachelor Nation fold.
Hes never seen the show.
There was a time where I was like, I am so over [theBachelorworld].
I want to move on.
I never want to talk to anybody.
Ive had I love it.
I want nothing to do with it.
And then I want everything, Brown says.
Because Im only just now getting to know her.
