Self
Its about being unapologetic, honest, authentic with myself, and the women I choose to love.
I have been atomboyfor as long as I can remember.
From the age of three, I played football with my male neighbours and friends.
At secondary school, I would bunk lessons with them.
Now, at 31, I think back to how anxious I felt back then amasculine-presenting lesbian.
And to a certain extent, still do today.
Coming out as a member of theLGBTQ+ communityis a journey.
But whena queer person comes out to themselves is the most important part.
The assumption and subtext always being that they would return to dating men before long.
As though my sexuality had an expiry date or that I was by default heterosexual.
Every question I faced was male-centric, which is doubly bizarre as a lesbian.
Stereotypes about lesbians and any member of LGBTQ+ communities can have a severe impact on self-worth and identity.
I grew up with straight, Christian friends who would use gay slurs to describe queer men and women.
Theirstrict religious beliefsmeant they disapproved of my sexuality.
You cant be gay and religious, says 29-year-old Hanna, an aviation agent from Amsterdam.
Yet here I was praising the Lord!
As a result, I put my coming out on ice, and remained closeted for years.
Abbie, a 24-year-old feminine presenting lesbian also delayed coming out because of harmful stereotypes.
I was fearful of coming out because of the oversexualisation of lesbians, the Midlands-based singer-songwriter says.
I had seen it in films, on social media, and even at school.
Focused on explicit sex scenes it reinforced the stereotype that lesbians are promiscuous, sex-hungry people.
Masculine presenting lesbian and podcaster OG Courts, 29, has said shes struggled with these stereotypes, too.
I was very aware that lesbians were looked at as these overly sexual, she says.
The wordbutchwas another stereotype masculine presenting lesbians have to contend with.
For a while I thought I wasnt gay, and I tried to be more feminine in appearance.
But I couldnt do it.
I knew in my heart that I could never go back to dating men.
Its about being unapologetic, honest, authentic with myself, and the women I choose to love.
I am lesbian enough because I am a lesbian, and I am proud of that.
This article was originally published onJune 11, 2022