It’s A Pleasure
Sometimes you fall into a pattern because things have been working.
(Also, relax: There arentthatmany sex positions.)
And you guys both like (or liked) them!
Rare is the couple for whom sex never gets stale or stagnant.
I am not, however, suggesting that long-term love is doomed to mundane sex!
The lull absolutely must be addressed!
Im just saying that arriving at such a place is incredibly common.
Imagine it being like a tire needing to be replaced.
And I also firmly believe cars need four tires.
This is not the time for subtlety.
This is a time for clear, honest, and vulnerable (aka hard) communication.
Is it going to feel uncomfortable?
But guess what will suck way more than having this conversation?
And actually, its not going to be one talk.
Its going to be a series of discussions spread out over the entire time you two are together.
(And they, in turn, will show you their ugly innards, too, dont worry.)
So you have to sit your partner down for an honest conversation one that inno wayinvolves Gwyneth Paltrow.
I want us to try X, Y, and Z. I need us to talk about this more and I need us to talk about it better.
I need you to pick up trash bags when youre out shopping without me having to remind you.
Communicate your feelings and how you might like to move forward in the future.
Tell your partner what you want and what you need.
Ask for specific actions whenever you might!
If you dont have all the answers, thats OK!
Its not just up to you to do 100% of the problem-solving!
This is his issue the same amount as it is your issue!
(Thats true for all couple obstacles, by the way.)
So as much as you two created this problem together (accidentally, of course!
), youre going to have to solve it together, too.
Good sex is very possible and likely, but not without good communication.
Its A Pleasure appears here every Thursday.
This article was originally published onMarch 8, 2022
