Life

TikToks tomato girls are only the beginning.

Thesoft girlswith their hairless armpits andRussian manicuresmix some packet of superfood dust into their morning smoothie bowls.

Who is this tomato girl?

I couldnt help but wonder, are we all just ingredient girls living in an aesthetic world?

If thats the case, Im amozzarella girl.

Im a crowd-pleaser, Im the ultimate vibe.

Blood sugar low and you need a quick snack while you figure out what to make for dinner?

Sometimes Im a little salty, sure.

Sometimes I bounce around and cant settle on a plan.

But Im mozzarella, baby, Im everything you want.

I fly under the radar a lot, simply because Im perfect.

Basil girlsare really happiest outdoors, especially in the summer rain.

They have excellent taste but love the simple things in life.

They reliably wear the same five outfits.

If Glossier ever stops making Cloud Paint, they will cry.

They will get drunk and hold a grudge with anyone, but only for the night.

Cracked pepper girlsare refined as f*ck.

Everything that youre supposed to do?

They will correct your grammar and tip exactly 20% and have a Tide to-Go pen in theirGucci purse.

They avoid screens an hour before bedtime.

Its only happened twice before, but still.

Artichoke girlstalk a lot about going to Burning Man, but havent made the trip yet.

Its just hard to take off that much time at work, you know?

They always have the best playlists and are happy to see you.

They will tell you exactly what you better hear, but you wont realize it for years.

Every tattoo of theirs is completely random.

They will water your plants while youre away.

Salami girlshave exactly one volume and it is mostly loud peals of laughter.

They are always trying to plan a girls trip.

They have multiple Brene Brown quotes hung around their apartment.

Kalamata olive girlsare intense and a little passive-aggressive but have a big heart.

They are always the one who performatively texts Here!

a full 15 minutes before you were supposed to meet up.

They will devolve into tears the second they have more than two glasses of red wine.

The best way to cheer them up is with tough love.

Theyre constantly rewatchingGreys Anatomyand they had a big One Direction phase.

They have considered graduate school for the past decade.