Stepping Out
The author ofAuditiontalks politics, pastries, and the role of the novelist.
But the baked goods, displayed behind glass at the marble-lined coffee counter, shes never had.
She tears bite-size pieces off of her artisanal croissant, neatly dissecting its flaky layers.
When shes about halfway through, I ask for the verdict.
Really good, she says, laughing.
The occasion for the long-awaited croissant-tasting?
In the book, the cafe appears, unnamed, as a post-theater destination.
And they have loads of pastries the characters are constantly eating.
Its kind of overdetermined pastries.
The pastries, they kind of take on this almost horror-movie quality.
Every morning, the pastries.
I devoured it in one sitting.
Despite all the dissimilarities between Kitamura andAuditions narrator, that one resemblance could be enough to prompt comparisons.
So I think its a natural in a reader.
And also, I am in those books.
Youre in all your books.
But thats not the woman I met at Lafayette today at all.
Shes easy to talk to, and laugh with.
She dispenses pearls of wisdom, but always with caveats one pearl does not fit all.
A lot in the culture encourages you to think in that way, Kitamura says.
The kinds of social roles that we play have very, very fixed parameters.
Even narrative tends in that direction.
She hesitates ever thoughtful, ever empathetic.
I see that with young people.
Even my son is like, Do you think its better to be a jock or a nerd?
Its like, Well, you’ve got the option to be both or neither.
Throughout our conversation at Lafayette, the reality were living in reasserts itself.
It becomes its own force field.
Though, even in the best of times, Kitamuras not particularly comfortable inhabiting the role.
Being cast as the expert, imbued with authority it doesnt sit well with her.
My books are really about not knowing.
Theyre about undermining authority, she says.
I do my best.
I venture to do the performance of it, but I dont think its necessarily all that convincing.
I look at her across the table.
Eyes bright and curious, smile earnest.
Fingers tearing at whats left of the croissant.
Whatever her misgivings, the shoe fits.
