Sex and Relationships
Taking on your partner’s hobbies and interests is healthy to an extent.
But outside of cafeteria table cliques, or in this case, Warped Tour and E!
television, Kourtneys doing somethingplentyof coupled-up people are guilty of.
Barnetts describing what I like to call a relationship chameleon.
Cue thememe of Brad Pitt morphing into all his lovers.Or certainother members of the Kardashian family.
I dated a goth girl and I bought Dr. Martens, Keith tells Bustle.
I’m very attracted to the goth aesthetic, but I never thought I could pull it off.
Apparently, Keiths not alone in that sentiment.
It changed the older I got, Rose (they/them), 27, tells Bustle.
I think when I was younger I was especially prone to matching people.
I would engage with things I might not have otherwise liked, Rose says.
Some of those things Ive held onto or made my own.
True crime for example, now I write crime and horror short stories.
With clients, I talk about developing a sense of us-ness a concept fromRestoration Therapy,Peck tells Bustle.
It just means making space for both partners to feel included and valued in the relationship.
Just ensure youre feeling in tune with yourself in the process.
and clinical psychologist, tells Bustle.
We can retain our individuality in a manner thats compatible with our partners individuality.
Courtney (she/her), 23, describes this in her own relationship.
Yet as they continued to date, the pair found their own balance.
They got a pet, downloaded Postmates, and found a way to be themselves, together.
Dr.LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D.
To some degree, being a relationship chameleon necessitates losing touch with yourself.
To tell if your relationship adaptation iscrossing the line, Dr.
Wish suggests evaluating all the new things youve gotten into since dating your partner.
Do you like eating vegan, or do you secretly wish for some Popeyes?
Make a list of things you feel you are losing in you because you accommodated too much, Dr.
If youve always been a relationship chameleon, Dr.
Wish says it may be hard to know what it is youdolike.
Did you love dance class as a kid?
Have you been looking for a creative outlet?
Maybe youve been bookmarking some new recipes that seem fun to cook.
Allow yourself time to get into these hobbies on your own.
Middle school is thankfully over, and youre allowed to be Posh Spice one day and Sporty the next.
Wish says, Happy and strong couples learn from each other without melting away.
MSS, clinical psychotherapist and author of Training Your Love Intuition
