Career
Nearly half of U.S. adults believe its inappropriate to have a work spouse.
We can talk about other people in front of them and they dont really understand.
All signs point to the question: Is the work wife a thing of the past?
Even as our workplaces have turned against close relationships, researchers have found that theyre more important than ever.
Whats more, the correlations between work friendships and overall well-being were even stronger in 2022 than in 2019.
So how do you reap the benefits of a work spouse in this new professional landscape?
And both feel like an intrusion.
To cut through that stiffness, Blume is experimenting with ways to create warmer, more convivial environments online.
Trying to replicate pre-pandemic work-spouse relationships probably isnt going to work.
When she got a new job in late 2019, she knew shed miss them.
But the pandemic made things far worse than she anticipated.
When the company went remote, I hadnt been there long enough to form any meaningful friendships.
And then it felt pretty impossible to become close with anyone, she says.
In the months that followed, Adrienne says she felt adrift both emotionally and professionally.
And I’m enjoying the job much more as a result, she says.
It affects my day-to-day and overall well-being a lot.
Perhaps its the terminology that needs to be re-examined, not the need for companionship.
While work-spouse relationships can be overwhelmingly positive,they have downsides, too.
Weve found that they can lead to distraction at work, for one thing, says Pillemer.
They also lead to uncertainty.
Like, When we’re talking, am I talking to you as a co-worker?
Or am I talking to you as a friend?
If you’re really close with your boss, do people assume that there’s favoritism going on?
If you get promoted, is that the reason why?
Thats not to say you shouldnt have these relationships.
They just need to be managed.
A desire for work friendships also depends on your personality, says Pillemer.
Non-integrators, on the other hand, prefer to keep those areas of their lives separate.
Amelia, 29, is one such integrator.
I never considered it awkward or an overstep, she says.
I was just glad to be there for her.
Rather than letting it interfere with their relationship, however, Amelia started interviewing elsewhere.
I chose the friendship over the job, she says.
And Im glad I did were still friends.
They still work together sometimes, too.
At Amelias new company, she has hired Jordan now a freelance consultant to work on a few projects.
This article was originally published onJan.
