Without This Woman
She taught me to think beyond yourself.
Bustles Without This Woman is a series of essays honouring the women who change and challenge us every day.
Below, she reflects on the woman whose caring nature knew no bounds her mother, Mary Folan.
We all have people in our lives that inspire us and help us go the extra mile.
She’s always been one of my biggest influences, an incredible role model.
My father came from Ghana and my mother from Ireland.
She set her roots in Kilburn, which was predominantly an Irish area.
All of this pressure and stress provided me with my motivation and drive to succeed.
When you come from a large family, it’s important to create some space.
Especially when the weather was lovely, my siblings and I would be out there playing rounders.
I can still see my mum walking at a hurried pace because we’d lost track of time.
Shed be rushing along the dewy grass towards us.
Your smile lifted when you saw her.
She just wanted to know everyone was okay.
From a young age, I realised that only I could change my circumstances.
I had a lot of determination.
I had dreams, but I knew I needed to be disciplined and focused turn them into reality.
I wasn’t out partying I was out looking for how could contribute to the household finances.
My mother worked tirelessly to provide for her family and those disadvantaged around her.
She taught me to think beyond yourself, to have that community spirit.
From a young age, I wanted to help those around me.
These opportunities were often not available to people who come from backgrounds like mine.
I wanted to make a change.
My mother wanted to me be a teacher a safe, secure job.
I left school early, so I failed in that regard.
I felt that I disappointed my parents.
In the end, I stopped telling her about my ideas.
What risks do I need to take?
At the very first MOBO awards, Tony and Cherie Blair attended.
It was only when I got my MBE that she thought I was doing okay.
When she was alive, she attended every MOBO Awards show.
It was lovely to have her rallying around, getting the family together.
Any important part of my career, she was always there.
She was like that with all of our family members.
And she’ll be with us this year for the 25th anniversary of the MOBO Awards.
At the young age of 70, my mother set up her own business a bed and breakfast.
Recently, I was at an event and a woman came up to me.
She said, I met your mother over 17 years ago, when I was on my last legs.
I didn’t know who to turn to, I had no money and nowhere to live.
Your mother gave me a place to stay and didn’t charge me anything for months.
I thought wow, that’s my mother a guardian angel.
Caring for others was her superpower.
As told to Aimee Grant-Cumberbatch.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
This article was originally published onNovember 30, 2022
