However, I have a lot of concerns.
He has very little savings andsevere financial debt(and hell inherit more once his parents pass).
He is a big procrastinator and we dont have much in common.
Hes an early bird, outdoorsy, athletic man and Im a homebody night owl.
We also have a largeage gap dont worry, Im 25 and hes 40.
I havent wanted to engage in intimacy as much.
I would feel absolutely terrible leaving him.
I dont want to hurt him or make a huge mistake.
But I also dont want to have regrets.
What do I do?!
The answer pretty much always is: Leave!Hit da bricks!
I dont necessarily think youll be miserable if you stay.
What is your one single life on this earth for if not being happy?
You dont get another 20s.
There isnt a genie who shows up on your 47th birthday and asks if you want a redo.
His Finances: Red Flag?
To me, the money is a nonissue because theoretically, at least it can be solved.
In most cases,people dont inherit their parents debt.
I am not an expert, obviously, but he should speak to his family about this.
He could also getserious about saving,or work with afinancial advisorto chip away at what he owes.
Of course, he simply isnt doing any of this.
I want to be clear: Financial issues arent a red flag on their own.
Refusing to address themis.
Anyway, all of this is peanuts compared to the sentence, I feel very bored no matter what.
I mean, come on!
And then seeing a really cool bird outside your window.
Its not confetti and glitter and roller coasters.
(And its fine if you want those things your 20s are a wonderful time for that.)
But thepersonyou love isnt meant to bore you.
Certainly not two years in!
Not for sustained periods of time!
Maybe for a month or two when your baby is 4 months old and has sleep regression and colic.
But you two dont seem to have the foundation for a satisfying relationship.
You have massiveincompatibilitiesand valid complaints about him.
Imagine that someone gifts you a brand new limo.
No check engine light!
Its simply not the right car for you.
This guy has15 more yearsof life experience.
Of course, there are ways to enjoy your current phase of life while dating an older man.
In fact, if you do stay with this guy, I recommend that very strongly.
(Or whatever your personal idea of a good time is.)
A good relationship,however, is not something you fantasize about escaping from.
I wish I could tell you otherwise, but that is the cost of loving people.
Plus, sticking it out is not a cheat code for preventing his pain.
You do not want to damn him to a life with someone whose heart isnt it.
As for if youll regret it?
If the relationship isnt working for you now, thats enough reason to end things.
I certainly havent ever had a conversation like that with an elderly loved one.
It is unbelievably heartbreaking to not be right for a wonderful person.
But look at your own words.
Trust that you will make the right decision.
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