It’s A Pleasure
Am I being too sensitive about his request?
Its totally good with me!
Im a total sub bottom.
He is pushing me to expand my horizons.
He wants to get into diaper play.
Hes saying he may want me to wear/use the diapers in public too.
Am I being over-sensitive by not trusting him?
Should I just sub up and take it?
The thing is, though, when people talk about sex theyre having and its good, you know.
You know from how they speak about it.
But the opposite also holds true.
Mediocre sex or a lull or a break those arentbadthings, they arent immoral.
Its fine to be meh about sex for a moment or a month with a partner.
Butbadsex is something else.
And perhaps the dom/sub dynamic that you two have works on some levels.
But there are also things youre sharing here that seem, from the outside, concerning.
Firstly, lets be superclear that if you both actively want to engage in diaper play, you should.
Im not the arbiter of kink.
You might be one of them.
What concerns me is the dynamic you have and where its coming from.
Sex is supposed to be a turn-on for both parties.
Submission isnt about giving up your pleasure, its meant to enhance it.
Now, obviously, the play of domination and submission can sometimes require a stretch of comfort.
Often, subs enjoy pushing the limits of what theyre into for their doms.
But again, it is also meant to be for their own arousal and enjoyment.
Kinky play must be rooted in mutual pleasure.
I cannot tell you where your lines are or what they are.
I cannot decide if diaper play fits within your sexual purview.
Are you turned on?
Are you simply accepting of other people engaging in it but uninterested for yourself?
Are you turned off but trying to push that feeling away for the sake of your partner?
Listen to your gut here.
These types of adjustments are meant to be small and non-disruptive to arousal.
Theyre never meant to cross someones boundaries.
You should always be able to say no to a partner, even a dom.
You dont need a good reason, or any reason at all, in fact.
You and your partner need to talk about this a lot.
Not just about introducing this new kink, but about the dynamic you two have in general.
That is a non-negotiable part of kink; any upstanding practitioner in this community will tell you that.
That has to be a part of your dynamic.
Otherwise, youre just two people who are horny for each other and not great at boundaries.
you’ve got the option to also try exploring diaper play without the actual diaper.
Maybe you could find common ground with golden showers or other types of age play.
Again, I want to remind you that being submissive doesnt mean that your pleasure is negotiable or unimportant.
like take this slowly.
Make decisions that honor what you want your sex life to be.
Be gentle and kind with yourself, and require that of your partner, too.
Explore new kinks slowly and lovingly and with strong communication.
Because thats safe, consensual sex.Thatshow you get to the good, hot stuff.
Its A Pleasure appears here every other Thursday.
