On TikTok, the woman briefly known as Pornhubs No.
1 performer is amassing a more supportive, more female fan base.
Creeps and jerks will be blocked.
social media superstar Mia Khalifa asks herself.
The house won her over with a large, quiet outdoor space that offers some much-desired tranquility.
There are peacocks all over the neighborhood, she says.
They wander into our yard.
Six years ago, she left Miami and swore shed never come back.
Khalifa got a job too, at Fuddruckers, but her priority was getting implants.
(She liked his music, and also, it felt Arabic.)
(Millions, if not billions, of internet searches suggest thats not a problem.)
The formerly unknown industry newbie began receiving death threats and widespread, often condemnatory international news coverage.
Attempts to take cover in conventional jobs like bookkeeper and paralegal were doomed.
Today, her circumstances are very different.
Im with someone I actually love, Im more confident now, I have a personality, she says.
I was so young and dumb and lost when I first lived here.
Especially after being in a dark place for so long, meeting him was life changing, she says.
The connection we have is unlike anything Ive ever had with anybody.
But Khalifa makes it look easy, even automatic.
I feel like I failed upwards.
The results of that mix are typical of online cultures tendency to turn pain into jokes.
Youre like, Are these diamonds new?
Uh, yeah how old is my OnlyFans?
Like, its very obvious.
By 2017, she was co-hosting the Complex sports showOut of Bounds.
I remember making $10,000 a month and thinking,Never, ever, ever will I top this.
This isIT.Nobody can tell me anything, she recalls.
That was insane to me, absolutely insane.
Now, she says, thats a starting salary for someone on her own payroll.
Im so proud I can do that for somebody, give them that oh my God moment.
But that wasnt the whole story.
I saw the public get to her, and I saw her change, says Khalifas friend Jenna Lee.
She ended up literally having to punch a guy to get away, Lee says.
She really changed after that.
[Living in fear,] Mia couldnt be nice to anyone in public.
The change wore on Khalifa, whose natural disposition seems to be the epitome of good vibes only.
Not even aformerporn star, she adds.
I didnt like myself, she tells me.
So I was making choices and doing things that didnt reflect who I was.
The experience led her to start therapy, a practice she hasnt stopped since.
I was like, this shame I need to come face to face with it.
I need to get over this.
It didnt help that she was in a relationship with someone who she says was uncomfortable with her notoriety.
Aspictures on Instagramattest, sometimes he even picks her up to move her through a crowd.
Cortez, moreover, travels with security to contend with his own enthusiastic fans.
Hes like a superstar, Khalifa corrects me when I say she must still be the bigger deal.
People, like, stalk him.
Shed be hard-pressed to date any man with a bigger presence online than hers, though.
Since 2020, her career has exploded in the best possible way.
TikTok offered a fresh start.
In fact, it was women on TikTok who inspired Khalifa to start an OnlyFans account in September 2020.
But, equally important, she says, is how much fun they have.
People fall in love with a character, and Mia Khalifa wouldnt be Mia Khalifa without her personality.
We are 10 times more successful because of how comfortable we feel.
It says no nudity.
Now, its girls who come up to me to tell me they love my TikToks.
Or just girls in general.
The repercussions of this change have been transformative.
My anxiety was very bad.
My depression and anxiety together were… her eyes drop down as she remembers, a very bad combination.
Thats why Im thankful for TikTok.
It gave me a bridge to that female audience I never had a connection to.
At my request, Khalifa takes a momentto outline the advice she would give to her 19-year-old self.
Run from that relationship youre in, No.
2, go back home.
3… we dont need to wear those rompers every day.
She doesnt like thinking about alternate versions of life what would have happened if shed made different choices.
I fall into a rabbit hole ofwhat if?
Andwhere would I be?
Ive just got to forgive myself.
At this point in my life, I have to be thankful for all of it.
Last year, when Khalifa fell in love with Cortez, it was another leap forward for her.
He made plans to see her the next time he was in LA.
That first time, he brought one suitcase, and then the next time he brought three.
Since then, theyve rarely been apart.
Watching him work has taught me to stand up for myself.
In December, Khalifa and Cortez ate chocolate mushrooms and went to Universal Studios in Orlando.
And now look at where my life is.
I have this incredible boyfriend who Im so in love with, and hes never seen Harry Potter.
He couldnt give two shits about it, but hes carrying a wand with me all day long.
(To me, sober in the Miami evening light, it really looks like they were.)
These are the moments that save her from thewhat if?rabbit hole.
There has been so much good, she says.
Like, yeah, all of these (bad) things wouldnt have happened.
But also, I wouldnt be where I am right now.
