Beauty
Dubbed the first emotionally intelligent personal care brand, Selfmade bridges beauty and wellness.
But one brand wants to change all that.
It alsoprovides tools and mental health resourcesfor those who need them.
How has working at M.A.C.
For someone who grew up in the south, it was always, How do I fit in?
The first time I felt [that] was at M.A.C.
I was 19 years old [working at the M.A.C.
I was like, I think I belong here.
With Michelle Obama, I was 24-years-old and managing teams across the world.
I was like, Well sh*t, if they can do it, I can.
I was [also] getting really pissed that people were using self-care in a dainty, weird way.
Self-care is really hard.
Thats self-care, you know what I mean?
It doesnt look beautiful all the time.
You talk about going through a mental health crisis during the creation process.
What incident made you go to therapy?
My ex-husband at the time had an affair with our neighbor.
It was an absolute shock because everything that I thought about my life was the exact opposite.
[But] we had no emotional intimacy or deep connection.
Basically, I learned [that I was dismissive-avoidant because] my parents were emotionally unavailable.
Im so sorry that happened.
Generational trauma is something a lot of people are dealing with and striving to heal.
We didnt talk about sadness [when I was younger].
They had their own traumas.
I didn’t know how to develop the skills to understand, What does Stephanie need first?
Why do you think that is?
There’s racial terrorism and there are hate crimes happening [in the U.S.].
Historically, for people of color, we get in trouble if we’re not working harder.
If we go farther back [and think about] indentured servitude and slavery, you just keep working.
So we actually feel guilty when we’re sitting still.
How do we learn to just sit still and give it to ourselves?
How has therapy helped with that burnout and your overall mental state?
We’re working on embracing the inherent worth that I was born with.
I started recognizing that and the racial systemic issues around it.
I was like, What the f*ck?
This is f*cked up.
Have your parents changed the way they look at mental health after seeing how therapy has helped you?
It tore me down.
I was so sad and I just remember being like, Okay, you know what?
Instead of getting angry, I want to choose something different.
So I said, Mom, you may be right.
But that means I need help.
I need your help to explore this in therapy.
And she finally said yes.
Thats great she agreed to go to therapy with you.
How did that go?
When my mom first came, she was very closed off.
By the end of it, she was open.
So a lot of those conversations and hard reflection came.
Have they changed just a little bit?
It’s such a universal experience when you’re sad.
It’s such a universal experience when you feel joy.
Every single person that comes to the table, we build a table.
What do you hope beauty lovers walk away with when using Selfmade?
I hope they have a moment where they sit still and use something with the intention to feel good.
Its really about how do you sit still and be in your skin.
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This article was originally published onMay 31, 2022
