Stepping Out
In love with a woman.
Hosting a menopause retreat.
The TV makeover queen-turned-womens health advocate has experienced the ultimate transformation.
Im hardly the first person to get emotional around Stacy London.
Ask any fan ofWhat Not to Wear TLCs ambush makeover hit that dominated reality TV for a decade.
Conveniently, women in a state of total physical and emotional chaos are nowLondons bread and butter.
Jen Gunter, has been given a decidedly commercialglow-up.
The stylists passion for helping women navigate this life stage is palpable and deeply personal.
But it hit London, she says, like a mack truck.
Little did she know, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation are not uncommon withsevere perimenopause.
No one told me, she says.
How was I supposed to know?
There was no single catalyst for her breakdown.
That breakup would not have been so terrible if I hadnt already been such a mess, she says.
It was my career.
It was my back surgery.
It was my father dying.
I was doing mental gymnastics to explain my mood and all these physical issues.
When you ask me,Was it work?
Was it my looks?It was everything.
But lets start with her career.
When London walked away fromWhat Not to Wearin 2013,I thought I was leavingajob.
I didnt know I was leavingthejob the only job people would ever associate me with, she says.
And I never experienced the same kind of success again.
Which I did not anticipate.
This wasnt entirely personal.
Transformational TV died of natural causes, to be supplanted by GRWM TikToks.
In any event, Londons place in the pop culture firmament faded.
I really found myself adrift, she says.
She launched a few more TV shows.
She did a guest stint onThe View.Nothing stuck.
I was bored by style.
It got more and more frustrating that I couldnt find a new platform.
And I felt more and more depressed.
My self-worth took such a tumble, she adds.
Then I started to see changes physically.
I was gaining weight.
I started to look much older.
And I was like,Oh my God, I dont recognize myself.
And I dont know what to do.I had no agency.
I just felt like I was drowning.
Those are stats that can be used against us.
Youre going to leave [so why bother promoting you?]
or Youre acting crazy or Youre an unstable boss.
Bullsht, bullsht, bullsh*t, she says.
And I said to him, Youre the problem.
The Canyon Ranch retreat isnt her first bite at this apple.
During the pandemic she bought, thenshut down, a menopause-focused beauty brand.
If you are suffering hot flashes and dealing with anxiety and insomnia, you dont need a face oil.
You need much more help than that.
At 54, Im learning to surf the hills and valleys.
This idea of, What does everybody think of me?
Or, She with the most toys wins.
Am I the prettiest?
Am I the richest?
Am I the most famous?
It wasnt until I met Cat that I was like, What a waste of time.
What a joke that was.
I see myself through her eyes and I feel like I am absolutely enough.
They were introduced at a fundraiser for Cynthia Nixons gubernatorial campaign.
The first thing she said to me was, Oh my God, youre so beautiful, London says.
They had their first date shortly before Londons father passed away.
She was able to navigate grief with me in the most empathetic, beautiful, and gentle way.
I never felt safer.
In the five years since, London has overhauled her wardrobe along with her priorities.
I used to feel guilty for not looking like Stacy fromWhat Not to Wear.
I used to think I was disappointing people.
Now I realize that this midlife transformation really does involve style.
My body weight has been redistributed.
My pants dont fit.
I hate my arms.
All these things where were beating ourselves up based on these standards of our youth.
F*ck that, she says.
And it is the most radical freedom.
Style becomes about the you you are now, not the you you used to be.
I no longer believe in rules.
That was the only mistake we really made onWhat Not to Wear.
My only rule is know thyself.
Lately, London has been wearing a chunky gold necklace that spells the word, AND.
That and will carry her forward toward more menopause retreats, expert summits and total liberation.
I grew up with disordered eating.
I grew up with anorexia.
What was the point?
What did it get me?
In society, we think that women over 40 are suddenlyunf*ckableor invisible or irrelevant.
All that sh*t disappeared for me.
I went through perimenopause thinking, I am invisible.
Nobody will hire me.
I have no relevance.
I have nothing to say.
Then after, those perceptions are something you radically let go of.
And that doesnt mean you have to be the crazy lady in the purple hat.
It just means you’re able to be who you f*cking want to be.
