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A writer reflects on their ever-changing relationship with their ex-husband.

Thanksgiving 20152016

My family, both immediate and extended, loved Dane.

However, they liked who Dane was as an individual and who I was around him.

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When he met my extended family in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, it seemed they felt similarly.

We gather over turkey, my grandmothers pumpkin chiffon pie, and my aunts kugel.

Thanksgiving 2017

I dont remember much about it; one of my two married Thanksgivings.

‘Sex and the Single Woman: 24 Writers Reimagine Helen Gurley Brown’s Cult Classic,’ edited by Eliza …

John looked at me with concern, and I realized that I needed to slow down.

I needed to date and eventually have sex with people other than cis men.

Were acquaintances off the table?

Would we use Tinder?

What other questionsshouldwe be asking ourselves?

While they presented a supportive front, they later revealed they were worried we might not make it.

We left New Jersey right after dessert.

During our next therapy session, we discussed the rules for our open relationship.

Within three days, I found my own apartment, packed up my things, and moved out.

A whirlwind ending equal to our love story.

Strangely enough, it seemed Dane was, too.

After a minute or so, I typed out a response: Thank you, thats so sweet.

Ultimately, I think that would confuse them all even more.

Ill just skip it this year.

So, even though I decided to forgo the big gathering, Dane and I still spent Thanksgiving together.

Others still were dealing with the heartbreak of suddenly being left.

To call it quits is to eschew the traditional family structures weve been told uphold society.

It felt natural as anything, and it was.

Weve been through so many iterations of what a relationship can be, and were still standing.

Ive settled on calling him alove of my life.

Excerpted by permission of Harper Perennial, a division of HarperCollins Publishers.

No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

This article was originally published onMay 16, 2022