Freedom is calling, but first: a cross-cultural and -generational conversation.
As a first-generation Guatemalan American, she was the first in her family to receive higher education.
You have to walk alone, and in many ways … thats terrifying, she adds.
But they didnt even have the chance and privilege to do it for themselves.
Below, Montanez and Pozuelos offer strategies to prepare for the big talk.
It is the precursor to your story of burnout but can feel insignificant when compared with your parents stories.
And theres a lot of healing in that.
Similarly, Montanez identifies how different generations view work.
For many immigrant parents, its a means to provide shelter and food for their families, she says.
Recognizing these differences and approaching them with radical acceptance can allow a more successful conversation.
Simplify And Explain
Job titles and the prestige they hold differ from country to country.
Try breaking it all down to the basics or describing the journeys of family friends in the field.
[In] some cultures, [the] perception of work is totally different, says Montanez.
There may not be the same semantics or connotation.
In Pozuelos family, doctors or lawyers were regarded as financially stable careers and thereby successful.
(In fact, many Americans today arechanging the definitionfor themselves.)
You have to detach yourself from your parents dreams.
Theyre not your dreams, says Pozuelos.
She recommends differentiating your familial identity from your individual identity.
Our dreams arent meant for everybody to understand.
Expect misunderstanding to occur.
Start from a place of appreciation, even if your viewpoints may be at odds.
Seek Out Positive Energy
Its possible your conversation wont go according to plan at first.
If this happens, Montanez suggests countering their negative feedback with positive thinking of your own at least internally.
Remind yourself why youre making this decision.
Were not in charge of peoples reactions, says Pozuelos.
We have to be in charge of our own emotions and reactions to what were going through.
Both experts also stress the importance of having people to lean on outside of your family.
Perhaps even more poignant in this process is that you find peace for yourself.
Getcomfortable with solitude, says Pozuelos.
