Celebrity
Two writers break down the A-list stars in her new musical extravaganza.
Not to mention her husband, Ben Affleck, who youmay not recognize.
Many of these celebs serve as part of a Zodiac Counsel, which guides Lopezs character on her journey.
Its a lot to take in.
Sarah:I want to talk about the collection of people in this movie.
What was the selection process for this cast list?
Jake:Were these the people who said yes?
Sarah:That was my first thought, because they all come on at once.
Theres this roundtable of the most random group.
I was like, Is this everyone whos been interviewed onCall Her Daddyin the last year?
What is going on?
Jane Fonda was inMonster-in-Law.
Theyve stayed close since.
Jay Shetty is kind of just around celebrities.
Sarah:Jay Shetty is the ultimate hes just there, and I don’t know why.
Jake:But shes never worked with Post Malone, Trevor Noah.
Jake:But he played Libra.
Sarah:Which was also the sign that got slandered.
Sarah:Do we think Post Malone is her favorite because he playedher Zodiac sign, Leo?
Jake:Thats a good question.
Post Malone was fitting for Leo.
He gives off very flirty, outgoing vibes.
Sarah:Hes a Cancer in real life.
Jake:AndKeke Palmerwas also the perfect Scorpio.
Sarah:She was, but shes not a Scorpio.
She has an albumcalledVirgo Tendencies.
Its interesting that you would very publicly cast someone who is very publicly a Virgo as a Scorpio.
Jake:She felt like the lead of the Zodiac Council.
She provided the most comedic relief and reasoning skills.
It was a good performance, which is what Keke always gives.
Of all these people that were asked, Jane Fonda could have played any of these Zodiac signs.
But her as Sagittarius has an unexpected edge that I loved.
Sarah:Jane Fonda actually is a Sagittarius, which is thrilling to me because she gives iconicSagittarius energy.
She does her own thing.
Jake:She did her Sagittarius people proud.
Now, lets talk about the people who were slightly miscast.
Jake:Its so fun, so unnecessary, so random.
She could have been used more, but that one line was hysterical.
But you didnt get a good idea of what sign she was.
Sarah:I was looking for Cancer because thats my sign, but she didnt reallygiveCancer.
With that being said,Sofia is a double Cancer.
Shes a sun and moon Cancer.
Jake:Neil deGrasse Tyson was Taurus.
How do we feel about that?
Sarah:Hes a Libra in real life.
Sarah:Libra men, this is a tough moment for them.
Jake:We need help right now.
I have a hot take about Kim Petras.
Sarah:Oh my God.
Kim Petras was amazing.
All she did was hop in and say, Slay.
Paris is not a Virgo, but they obviously wrote Virgo as the yas slay character.
It makes no sense because thats not a Virgo tendency at all.
Sarah:Virgos are verymeticulous, thoughtful, and grounded.
Virgo being the yas slay character was the most off-kilter decision from the roundtable.
Now, do you know who Sadhguru is?
I had to look this man up.
Jake:My Indian family loves him and goes by everything he says.
My question is, how did J.Lo discover him?
What does he have to do with anything in this movie?
Why is he officiating the wedding at the end?
Sarah:Sadhguru plays Pisces, which was not made clear to us whatsoever.
Even so, Im actually obsessed with this astrology panel.
I want my life to be this.
Jake:Is it miscast?
Do I want them to control my life?
Sarah:I would sign my life away to these people in a heartbeat.
Jake:Especially Keke Palmer and Jane Fonda.
I think Fat Joe was the MVP of this entire movie.
Sarah:Fat Joe was awesome.
Jake:He is the heart and soul.
It makes so much sense.
Jake:He wouldve been a very fun presence on the Zodiac Panel, but him as a therapist?
I couldnt have written it better myself.
And why is Sadhguru officiating the wedding at the end?
Jake:Fat Joe could have officiated.
Sarah:You would think.
Jake:We need to devote some time to Ben Affleck.
Hes kind of like the muse that shows up at the end.
Jake:Yeah, he has a ghostly presence.
The two of them riding off on his motorcycle together made a lot of sense.
Sarah:He was this presence in her life because they dated so young.
She went and did all this other stuff for 20 years, and then there he is again.
So it did made sense to me that he was this otherworldly presence.
But then the reveal that hes the newscaster?
Jake:Whoever did his makeup and prosthetics deserve an award, because I did not recognize him whatsoever.
Sarah:That was the biggest shock of the whole thing.
Jake:It reminded me of Christian Bale inVice.
Jake:It was Donald Trump meetsAnchorman.
Sarah:He gave us everything and more, and played himself as a shrouded figure.
So, who do you think represented God in this movie, if anyone?
Fat Joe or Ben Affleck?
Jake:Both of them, in a way.
Im never going to recover from this.
Im not the same.
This has been edited and condensed for clarity.
