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If you’re a punch in-A people pleaser, Amy Wilsons memoir will make you feel seen.
Remember those boys at the back of the class?
You know who Im talking about.
Rowdy, muttering jokes to their friends, and clearly the teachers least favorites.
Meanwhile, the girls in the front row sat quietly and paid attention.
Maybe you were one of them.
Amy Wilson certainly was.
That stress sparked the idea for her new memoir,Happy to Help(out Jan. 7).
I had newly sensed the resentment of some of my classmates that I was always ready with an answer.
Brainiac was not a name for a girl boys liked.
Brainiac sounded like a too-smart, no-personality robot programmed without the human capability of reading the room.
The solution was obvious.
I would stop raising my hand.
That year marked Sister Benedictas 40th anniversary of corralling 13-year-olds into sitting up straight and diagramming sentences.
As class president of 8 Blue, I had been determined to change that.
I would get Sister Benedicta to like us.
Even Sister Benedictas spirits would be lifted by balloons!
No one dared laugh.
I found it hard to breathe.
In hindsight, that did seem like something she might have enjoyed more.
Verbs could be perfect and subjunctive and indicative and imperative.
Much of it was baffling to my classmates, but its orderliness spoke to me.
Know the rules, and then you knew everything.
Even when things became complicated.
Who can decline this verb in the future perfect continuous tense?
You will have been skating.
He or she will have been skating.
The hard part was not raising my hand.
But I wanted my classmates to like me more than I wanted to be the one with the answer.
Does anyone know the future perfect continuous?
My eyes darted to Diep Tran, the only other kid who might have a clue.
I could tell even she had no idea.
Sister Benedicta stood at her lectern.
The silence became uneasy.
And you, Amy?
Sister Benedicta turned to me with an eyebrow raised.
Do you know the future perfect continuous, in the first person?
shall have been skating?
I hoped I sounded sufficiently uncertain.
So you did know.
You knew the answer.
But you chose not to share it.
I couldnt tell where Sister Benedicta was going with this.
Was she simply seeking clarification?
I decided to stick with the basics.
Two red splotches suddenly graced Sister Benedictas cheeks.
Do you think youre better than everyone else here?
I had opted out of raising my hand so my classmates wouldnt think that about me.
Now Sister Benedicta was drawing that conclusion on their behalf.
Do you think youre better than your classmates?
Blood pounded in my ears.
I was afraid to answer, and more afraid not to.
Then how dare you?
How dare you withhold information that others might find useful?
I had nothing to say in response.
If Brainiac was getting yelled at, absolutely no one was safe.How dare I?
But the older I get, the less I understand it.
I could not hang back, not even if others didnt like it, not even ifIdidnt like it.
I was obliged to share, with whomever might ask, everything I had to give.
Figure out what the kids are doing next summer.
Listen to those voicemails.
Fill out that form.
Figure out where I put that form,thenfill it out.
I cant do all of this!
Next time I will know better.
Amy is also an actor who appeared on Broadway and as a series regular on TV sitcoms.
She lives with her family in New York City.
