Between The Sheets
The only buzz came from a vibrator.
Sam, 27, started feeling nervous in the elevator.
How would the sex be?
Was her mascara smudged?
Did the man she had swiped yes on still find her attractive?
I remember wanting someone to consistently hook up with in college so I could get good at it.
But because I only had drunken sex, I could never really remember it.
Still, despite the nerves, she was committed to sober sex.
And when they started kissing on her couch, she began to relax.
Many havent had alcohol-free sex with a new partner since their teenage years if ever.
Zoe, 29, who lives in Sydney, got sober three monthsago.
She was optimistic about their chemistry between the sheets, but the encounter was anticlimactic.
Afteran early morning coffee date,Zoe and her date were kissing on the beach by 9 a.m.
They met up for dinner later that evening, and when they had sex, they were both sober.
She was initially nervous about undressing in front of him because of the self-harm scars on her thighs.
But their encounter was slow and sensual, and she was surprised by how confident she felt.
It proved I didnt need any alcohol to loosen up.
Since then, her relationship with sober sex and her body has continued to improve.
When he leaned in to kiss her, Kathleen was caught off guard.
It all happened very fast, she says.
The interaction felt performative, she explains, not genuine or pleasurable.
I was so in my head and wanted to get it over with.
The depiction of steamy intercourse thatalways resulted in orgasmleft her with a host of intimacy and body image issues.
It put a lot of pressure on me, she explains.
Ive decided Im going to take a break from dating and sleeping with people, she says.
I would love to feel comfortable being intimate without having these reservations and feeling pressure.
For other women, sober sex has unlocked a newfound confidence and freedom in the bedroom.
When she was drinking, she wasnt taking care of herself and didnt feel sexy.
In sobriety, she has become much more self-assured.
After getting out of a long-term relationship, Alli slept with a friend for the first time.
I wasnt nervous to have sex because now that Im sober, I feel like Im thriving.
She wanted her friend to also be sober when they slept together.
The request paid off.
There is another reason sober sex can be particularly satisfying.
Whisky dick or whatever you want to call it for women is real.
Its so much harder toget therewith substances involved, Alli says.
Being present in my body has allowed me to actually get off.
My sober orgasm rate is tenfold what it was before.
Katie, 31, from Santa Cruz, found both good sexandlove in sobriety but not all at once.
She is currently nine months sober and began dating in her first month without alcohol.
Best of all, shes been able to forge more mature connections with one exception.
He was also the only guy who gave me a hard time about not drinking.
He was like, Why cant you just have a margarita or something?
Red flags all around they didnt end up having sex.
Now, Katie is in a committed relationship with a man she started seeing a few months later.
By their second date, it was clear they had a future as a couple.
It was intense, Katie recalls.
There was this pressure that it would be the most mind-blowing sex of our lives because of our connection.
But their chemistry between the sheets paled in comparison to what they felt on their dates.
Luckily, her partner was less worried.
By the fourth round, relaxed and secure, their emotional and physical connections matched up.
The sex has been amazing ever since.
Despite the initial nerves and hiccups, Katie largely credits their relationship today with going sober.
And despite the initial nerves and hiccups, sober sex can lead to some seriously satisfying outcomes.
