It’s A Pleasure
Desire comes from something were all short on right now: novelty.
Q:I feel like the pandemic totally killed my sex drive.
How can you keep feeling sexy during such a time of stress and trauma?
Now, that isnt to say that anyone who happens to be feelingextrarandy right now is abnormal, either.
Essentially: however your sex drive is responding to this ghastly situation is almost guaranteed to be normal.
Well, thats just kind of how bodies work.
Life is not normal right now, so why would anything else including your sex drive be?
(Also, even if the pandemic ended tomorrow, its not like everything would be hunky-dory.
We, as a society, are going through it, to put it as mildly as possible.)
Like youdBruce Bogtrottera chocolate cake no problem and still want more?
Alternatively, do you have days wherenothingsounds good at all?
Plus, sometimes its not fun to listen to your body.
Sometimes its more fun to have a second cup of coffee and get all jittery!
certain body parts, they might get aroused in a physical sense.
And the trickiest piece of any horn-dog puzzle?
Stress is perhaps the biggest mood-killer of all time.
Unfortunately, theres nothing hot and steamy about pervasive and persistent anxiety.
Soof courseyou dont feel your horniest.
On top of that, the pandemic has coupled two seemingly mutually exclusive things: repetition and unpredictability.
Repetition is another classic horny-thwarter.
Unpredictability, on the other hand,canfeel like excitement, which is normally hot.
Except when it comes to COVID, the surprises are usually bad.Cool, Ill cancel yet another birthday get-together.
that doesnt mean this hasnt taken an extreme toll on your mental health and well-being.
This has been a sustained period of global fear and grief.
OK, Sophia, we get it.
Life is sh*tty right now, its fine to not feel horny.
!,it might give you a little breathing room to relax.
If you have a partner, feel free to tell them this.
Just a heads up.
Fun, hot stuff only (a very strict rule).
Anything that isniceor possibly horny-adjacent?
If you dont feel anything, OK.
I know that sounds corny (most good advice does, Ive found).
Find out what feels good!
Make noises while you masturbate.
Not ready to masturbate?
Watch10 Things I Hate About Youor any other movie with sparks.
The goal of this exercise is to understand yourself better, but not in a pressurized way.
There will be times when every single thing is right, and you still arent turned on.
There will be times when you shock yourself because… Now?
Now, in the middle of the Beanie Baby documentary, body?
Bodies are just like that.
Maybe you gotta read fourTwilightfanfics to get going when it used to take one.
Its OK to be upset that things have changed.
Its OK to feel frustrated.
Do your best to set down any self-judgment you have about your current situation, though.
Changing sex drives can be a good indicator for some people when their mental health is in flux.
Its A Pleasure appears here every Thursday.
If you have a sex, dating, or relationship question, email Sophia at BustleSexAdvice@gmail.com.
