Wellness
“That whole ‘strong Black woman’ narrative, it doesnt apply to me…
I am a dainty princess.”
The soft life hashtag has more than600 million viewson TikTok alone.
I live a soft life.
I am a dainty princess.
I will fall out at the drop of a minor inconvenience.
The post has been viewed more than 300,000 times.
While her tone is comedic, this idea comes from a serious place.
I have struggled with anxiety and depression in the past.
I went to therapy and learned that it is OK to need help.
It is OK to be vulnerable.
Its OK not to do everything by yourself.
I am now prioritizing myself, James tells Bustle.
She feels that its time to break that narrative.
I shared this video for Black women.
Black women deserve to be seen as angelic.
We deserve to live a soft life and most importantly, we deserve to be seen as human.
Not everyone believes the movement reflects James original intention.
@theembodiedgoddesssays, Its about denouncing hustle culture, its not about luxury culture.
Others believe the movements expensive sheen shouldnt be taken so literally.
These videos can be seen as symbols, not instructional guides.
You have to be able to … find the meaning for yourself.
James defends the grandeur of it all.
Luxury for you may not be luxurious for someone else, she says.
So for some, buying that Chanel bag is a luxurious soft life.
If being luxurious for you is keeping all your plants alive, do that.
Its different for everyone.
There is no such thing as a soft life.
Life is really hard and thats just a fact.
According to Cross, this movement isnt inclusive enough.
Consider renowned scholar bell hooks 1999 bestsellerAll About Love: New Visions,in which she explores similar themes.
She wrote, “Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.
Her now-famous quote echoes through the lives of many Black women today.
Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.
Get back down to the basics.
Start with taking three slow, deep breaths, saysLalah Delia, a spiritual writer and wellness educator.
Delia also believes strongly in the Buddhist practice of equanimity.
[It] is exactly what a soft lifestyle entails, she says.
you could show up from a place of balance no matter whats happening around you.
Cross provides her clients with this same tool.
Can I cope so that Im not debilitated by sadness?
Ricardo has a few other suggestions.
Stop trying to immediately find the answer to everything.
Write out what youre feeling.
Speak your feelings out loud into a voice recorder.
Renee finds that its especially important for moms to give themselves grace along the way.
Set small goals so you’re free to celebrate small wins, she says.
Take it one day at a time.
There are countless ways to live purposefully, intentionally, and luxuriously.
The soft life is as varied and nuanced as Black women are themselves.
This article was originally published onFeb.
